It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages

Facing the risk is essential to humans, whether it is a personal matter or it is a lifetime career, I believe its benefits outweigh the negatives because it gives the body more courage and confidence and it can be the turning point to a better lifestyle.
To begin
with, when it comes to high self-esteem and being a brave character it demands being on the edge of something and deciding to face the difficulty; because sometimes it is better than the easier option especially if we are talking about a long-term decision, to illustrate when an obese individual decides to lose fat and become fit he/she has to be committed to going every day to the gym without complaining about any circumstances,
this
is the harder option and if the human sticks to the plan here it comes the confidence and the better outcomes which is, in
this
case, the healthier and good looking body.
Moreover
, it can turn someone’s life upside down in a positive way if he decides to put himself on the challenging path, not always but most of the time it requires being in a challenge to change our lifestyle into a better one,
for example
, if someone is good at stocks and had learned enough about it, it is now the time to take the risk and buy that deal which might pay him off thousands of dollars.
To sum up
, growth might require being a solid human and being able to face different situations with various levels of risk to seek a more enlightened existence.
Submitted by tasneematrash3001 on

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task achievement
While the essay attempts to address the prompt, it would benefit from a clearer articulation of both the advantages and disadvantages associated with taking risks. A more balanced discussion would enhance the completeness of the response.
task achievement
Ensure the ideas are more clearly and comprehensively developed. At times, the arguments presented are somewhat superficial and could be expanded with more detailed examples or further elaboration.
coherence cohesion
The essay displays a logical progression of ideas; however, the paragraphs could be more effectively structured. Each paragraph should ideally focus on a single main point, clearly supported with evidence or examples.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction sets the stage well, opening with a clear statement of the writer's opinion and what will be discussed.
introduction conclusion present
The essay concludes effectively, summarizing the main discussion points and restating the opinion in a clear manner.
supported main points
The essay provides relevant examples, such as the one about losing weight and investing in stocks, to support the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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