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New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

#technologies #children #time #outweigh
In the Contemporary era, technology has gained a marvel of progress and sophistication that can affect any generation. It is widely speculated that those alterations in technology have overwhelming influences on the leisure
time
 behaviour of kids .
Although
this
 issue has both pros and cons, I believe that the drawbacks of that are more significant than the benefits and my stance on
this
 will be explained in the following paragraphs. Indisputably, it is commonly believed that the younger generation must possess ample literacy regarding new technologies. Usually,the often usage of
such
 devices and technologies has
myriad
Add an article
a myriad
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 of advantages. Particularly, these technologies will help in enhancing soft skills like fine motor activities and
also
 creativity.
For example
, the research findings reveal that the children who are used to watching educational videos
in
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on
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 YouTube have much general knowledge in many fields when compared to others. In the same
way
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way,
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 playing some kinds of video games may provide inevitable opportunities in gaining the creativity and rapid reflexive abilities of students.
On the other hand
,
although
 spending
time
 on technology has created a plethora of advantages, there is a wide array of disadvantages associated with it. Primarily, the excessive
time
that is
 allocated for the use of
such
 devices is
a
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apply
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futile and
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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can be dedicated
for
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to
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purposeful educational activities.
In addition
, getting addicted to their frequent usage
of
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apply
show examples
has opened a gate for many unfavourable outcomes.
For instance
, misleading advice and messages conveyed by the videos and advertisements, replication of fake characters and efforts to mimic them can cause unexpected results.
Furthermore
, spending more duration on them may build up passive characters who are poor
in
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at
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 maintaining communication with
the
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apply
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others.
To conclude
, it is conspicuous that behaving with the new advents is a pivotal aspect for the youngers which may be
a
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paramount for them. But, just as the importance of it,
due to
 the more prominent negative impacts, they should be engaged in other physical activities too during leisure
time
 .
Submitted by oriexam6 on

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Language Advice
Ensure that all sentences are grammatically correct and fluid. For example: 'the often usage of such devices' should be 'the frequent usage of such devices'.
Language Advice
Try to use more varied and accurate vocabulary to make your argument more compelling.
Structure Advice
While your main points are clear, ensure that each paragraph has clear topic sentences that align closely with the main argument.
Content Advice
Try to develop ideas more fully and provide additional examples or evidence to support your points.
Content Highlight
You have a good understanding of the question and have addressed both advantages and disadvantages clearly.
Structure Highlight
The essay is generally coherent with a logical structure and a clear introduction and conclusion.
Content Highlight
You provide relevant specific examples, which helps to illustrate your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • new technologies
  • children
  • free time
  • access
  • educational resources
  • information
  • development
  • key skills
  • enhancing
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • opportunity
  • connect
  • convenience
  • flexibility
  • lack
  • physical activity
  • potential
  • health issues
  • impact
  • social
  • emotional development
  • exposure
  • inappropriate content
  • addiction
  • dependency
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