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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some societies the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. What are the reasons for this trend? And what possible solutions could reduce this issue?

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These days, the number of
crimes
Use synonyms
 which are committed by young generations in some populations is increasing.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons which are creating
this
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 problem, and propose some possible solutions to decline them. Unfortunately, the figure of teenagers who have an offence not only is a
lot
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 but
also
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 climbing;
thereafter
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, is a result of some happening like the bad economy, and young people like to have a
lot
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 of money.
Firstly
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, in some countries in which the economy is not good, the percentage of
crimes
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 is more massive than in other districts with good situations because , in the poor regions, the culture is so different from other areas;
moreover
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,
crimes
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 are working inhabitants do not have an issue with.
Secondly
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, new generations are so lazy. In fact, they like to become wealthy without work or easy work;
hence
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,
crimes
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, having had a
lot
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 of money, are the best choice.
Nevertheless
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, every matter has solutions that are falling crime
such
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 as the government both an evolving economy and teaching teenagers in school. On the one hand, authorities must develop their industries, and relations with other countries, and obtain a plan from successful countries for alter their position to a good situation;
then
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 citizens who are living in
this
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 zone can find a job after the poverty regions are decreasing, which the
crimes
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 will fall.
On the other hand
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, institutes can help populations reduce
crimes
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 by teaching pupils the best ways that can be reached without
crimes
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. In conclusion, The fact that teenagers like to work with a
lot
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 of money is clear, yet governments and schools have a
lot
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 of influence not only on
crimes
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 but
also
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 on destroying them.

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coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your paragraphs around distinct reasons and solutions, ensuring that each idea is clearly presented and elaborated on.
task achievement
Introduce more specific examples to support your points. For instance, reference particular countries or economic situations that lead to higher crime rates among teenagers.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing reasons for the increase in teenage crime as well as potential solutions.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the importance of government and educational institutions in solving the problem.
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