Some people think that children who spend a lot of time reading children’s story book are wasting their time which could be better used doing other more useful activities. To what extend do you agree?
In the past, our free
time
was considered on minimum choice.However
, Nowadays, the raising of technology changed our ways of spending our spare time
. Therefore
, a diverse range of individuals are convinced that they should spend their free time
on beneficial methods, while
others assume that reading books is better for them. I strongly agree with spending the statement of utilising our free time
in useful activity. In this
essay, I will elaborate on my view.
To begin
with, there are many activities due to
technology.They can learn new things which can assist them and enhance their life. Likewise
swimming. This
sport has a significant impact on the community. It improves our muscles and diminishes any stress. For instance
, In Egypt, a wide spectrum of parents prefer to integrate their kids into swimming classes to generate their bodies and personalities. They believe this
sport will make their children more confident. Moreover
, Practical activities can help our kids to improve their hand skills. This
can help them if they face any challenges. Similarly
, in the USA, summer schools are teaching their students how to manage complex situations.
Furthermore
, They can exploit their free time
on the computer. They can learn coding systems. Thus
, it will ameliorate their skills in the future and will have privilege among their friends. Moving further
, they can watch useful videos on many platforms and communicate with others. For example
, In Japan, kids are using computers to learn foreign languages to communicate with others around the world.
In conclusion, there will be a debate in this
argument. We should read books, Nonetheless
, the youths should discriminate between the real world and fiction from stories. Otherwise
, they will be unable to face any hazards.Submitted by mohannadsme on
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coherence cohesion
Consider providing a more precise thesis statement in the introduction to enhance clarity. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to improve overall coherence.
task achievement
Work on developing your main ideas more fully. Each point should be elaborated with clear reasoning and relevant examples to clearly illustrate your arguments.
general
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. Avoid fragment sentences and watch out for punctuation errors. Proofread your work to identify and correct these mistakes.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task effectively and provides a clear stance on the subject matter.
task achievement
Several relevant examples are provided to support the main points, which enhances the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, aiding overall coherence.