Some people think that children who spend a lot of time reading children’s story book are wasting their time which could be better used doing other more useful activities. To what extend do you agree?

#people #children #time #children’s #story #book #activities

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In the past, our free

time

Use synonyms

was considered on minimum choice.

However

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, Nowadays, the raising of technology changed our ways of spending our spare

time

Use synonyms

Therefore

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, a diverse range of individuals are convinced that they should spend their free

time

Use synonyms

on beneficial methods,

while

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others assume that reading books is better for them. I strongly agree with spending the statement of utilising our free

time

Use synonyms

in useful activity. In

this

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essay, I will elaborate on my view.

To begin

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with, there are many activities

due to

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technology.They can learn new things which can assist them and enhance their life.

Likewise

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swimming.

This

Linking Words

sport has a significant impact on the community. It improves our muscles and diminishes any stress.

For instance

Linking Words

, In Egypt, a wide spectrum of parents prefer to integrate their kids into swimming classes to generate their bodies and personalities. They believe

this

Linking Words

sport will make their children more confident.

Moreover

Linking Words

, Practical activities can help our kids to improve their hand skills.

This

Linking Words

can help them if they face any challenges.

Similarly

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, in the USA, summer schools are teaching their students how to manage complex situations.

Furthermore

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, They can exploit their free

time

Use synonyms

on the computer. They can learn coding systems.

Thus

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, it will ameliorate their skills in the future and will have privilege among their friends. Moving

further

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, they can watch useful videos on many platforms and communicate with others.

For example

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, In Japan, kids are using computers to learn foreign languages to communicate with others around the world. In conclusion, there will be a debate in

this

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argument. We should read books,

Nonetheless

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, the youths should discriminate between the real world and fiction from stories.

Otherwise

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, they will be unable to face any hazards.

Submitted by mohannadsme on Sat Jul 13 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider providing a more precise thesis statement in the introduction to enhance clarity. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to improve overall coherence.

task achievement

Work on developing your main ideas more fully. Each point should be elaborated with clear reasoning and relevant examples to clearly illustrate your arguments.

general

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. Avoid fragment sentences and watch out for punctuation errors. Proofread your work to identify and correct these mistakes.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task effectively and provides a clear stance on the subject matter.

task achievement

Several relevant examples are provided to support the main points, which enhances the argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, aiding overall coherence.

16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Some people think that children who spend a lot of time reading children’s story book are wasting their time which could be better used doing other more useful activities. To what extend do you agree?

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important what are the causes of this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries, the number of obese children is increasing rapidly, and many people believe that the government is responsible for this alarming problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Children these days spend a lot of time apart from their parents because in many homes, both parents work. What problems can be caused by this? What are some ways to support such children?