IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some countries are reconsidering the use of the death penalty for serious crimes. While proponents argue it serves as a deterrent and promotes justice, opponents highlight its potential for human rights violations and wrongful convictions. Do you think the benefits of the death penalty outweigh the drawbacks?

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Nowadays, there is a debate about the advantageous and disadvantageous aspects of the
death
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penalty
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.
Whereas
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 some believe that it can prevent the increasing
crime
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 rates and provide justice across the globe, others consider that it is a violent rule for human rights. In my opinion, the
death
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penalty
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 is not an effective solution to address
crime
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. In
this
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 essay, the pros and cons of the
death
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penalty
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 are discussed. On the one hand, the reason why the defenders of the implementation of the
death
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penalty
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 conduct it would be better to deal with
crime
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 is that it can treat wrongdoers, making them avoid
crime
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. To be more specific,
death
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 is one of the scariest things of mankind,
thus
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 deterring them from
crime
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.
Also
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, if a criminal commits an extremely serious
crime
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,
such
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 as killing someone wildly, the
death
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penalty
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 would be divine justice.
On the other hand
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, others claim that it is not a good option for the provision of justice, on the ground that, in some cases,
for instance
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, when an illegal activity is committed by an offender, some innocents can be accused of
this
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crime
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due to
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 a lack of research about proof of who is responsible for
this
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 awful act.
Hence
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, the execution of individuals can occur unfairly.
Moreover
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, in the modern world, the
death
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penalty
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 is not considered morally right. To elaborate, they think no one has the right to kill a person, even if that person is to blame for the considerable crimes.
To conclude
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, in my personal view, there are no beneficial sides to
this
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 punishment, thereby the disadvantages of it exceeding the advantages because of the advanced civilization people live in. So, cultures have developed and there are numerous solutions to address
crime
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, including the introduction of stricter and stricter rules, and establishing some classes that enlighten individuals to learn the importance of morality and avoid
crime
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.

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Supporting Examples
Expand on your examples by providing more detailed scenarios or statistics to support your arguments. This will deepen the impact of your examples and make your argument more convincing.
Evidence-Based Argumentation
Avoid generalizations without concrete backing. When making claims about the attitudes of society or the effects of the death penalty, referencing specific studies, reports, or historical examples could lend more credibility to your arguments.
Sentence Structure
Be mindful of sentence structure to enhance clarity. While your ideas are well-presented, varying sentence length and structure can improve readability and engagement.
Logical Structure
Your essay systematically discusses the pros and cons before stating your own opinion, effectively structuring your argument.
Introduction & Conclusion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that succinctly present your thesis and summarize your main points, which aids in the overall coherence of your essay.
Supported Main Points
You provide specific reasons and outcomes related to both sides of the argument, which strengthens the coherence of your points.
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