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Band 8

Some people argue that competitive sports are good for bringing together different people and cultures.Other argue that these sports can cause problems and increase conflicts between nations. Discuss both the views and give your opinion?

#people #sports #cultures #conflicts #nations
Competitive sports are an enjoyable form of entertainment which can evoke many emotions. Some
people
 believe in the unifying power of sport,
whereas
 others see it as a cause for commotion. I believe there is something to be said about both views, which I will discuss in
this
 essay. On the one hand, supporting different teams can highlight differences between the opposing sides. When there are national teams playing against each other, it causes
people
 to bring about historical context and nationalism, which adds to the emotion of the sport.
For example
, the cricket match that makes the most amount of money has always been between India and Pakistan. The two countries have a complicated history intertwined with religion and fanaticism. Whenever these two teams play there is bound to be commotion after the fact. If these games were not played,
people
 would go about their regular days with a much lower chance of clashing.
On the other hand
, when supporting the same team, it brings together
people
 of various backgrounds. It allows
people
 to unite with one focus in mind.
For instance
, straight after the India vs. Pakistan cricket match, some supporters went to the local pub which held a viewing of the Euros football game in which England was playing. The individuals who were seething with animosity 15 minutes prior, were now seated together to cheer England on together. Without
this
 match, the emotions the supporters were feeling would have been totally different, and it would not have united these opposing fans. I believe that international competitive sports hold a very important place for fans, in which both the positive and the negative emotions are intertwined. Unfortunately,
this
 means, you cannot have one without the other and both polarising views are true.
Submitted by patelmeera on

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coherence cohesion
Introduction could be slightly expanded to give a clearer roadmap of the essay structure.
task achievement
Though generally clear, further elaboration on some points would strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve the conclusion by summarizing the main points discussed in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
Good use of relevant examples to support the argument.
coherence cohesion
Clear logical flow between paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
Strong cohesive devices which made the essay easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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