Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
It is often thought that being competitive is a beneficial stance in our everyday life, including at school or work,
while
others are convinced that working together as a community is better than fighting against each other. Although
the latter opinion can be beneficial in some cases, I believe that competition brings substantial advantages to individuals.
To begin
with, one primary advantage of cooperating with peers or colleagues is being able to complete tasks quickly and efficiently, as well as
gain useful knowledge imparted from more experienced fellows. Plus, we can offer assistance regarding things that we are capable of to someone who needs them. For example
, students in a study group are proven to have better examination scores compared to those who studied alone because they managed to ameliorate each other’s understanding. However
, some might take advantage of cooperation and grab the chance to not give any contributions.
On the other hand
, healthy competitions
between communities can promote personal growth and development in a person. There are numerous skills that can be developed by competing with each other Fix the agreement mistake
competition
such
as punctuality, quick thinking, and logical thinking. For instance
, a recent study found that working under pressure can increase an individual’s focus by about 20%. Hence
, this
would be helpful for companies to boost their monthly sales by improving workers’ qualities and rewarding employees by
their performance. Change preposition
for
Therefore
, I support the view that competing against each other is more crucial for individuals
and community’s growth.
In conclusion, Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
while
cooperating with each other can offer people promising work, I believe that being competitive leads to success in their study
or Fix the agreement mistake
studies
job
.Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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task achievement
Try to provide an even clearer and more nuanced analysis of both viewpoints in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Make sure all points are fully developed and directly linked back to the main thesis for increased clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each body paragraph smoothly transitions into the next for better flow.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly wraps up the discussion and reiterates your stance effectively.
task achievement
The essay successfully addresses both sides of the argument, offering a balanced view.
task achievement
The essay includes specific examples to support the main points, which strengthens the argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?