Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often thought that being competitive is a beneficial stance in our everyday life, including at school or work,
while
Linking Words
others are convinced that working together as a community is better than fighting against each other.
Although
Linking Words
the latter opinion can be beneficial in some cases, I believe that competition brings substantial advantages to individuals.
To begin
Linking Words
with, one primary advantage of cooperating with peers or colleagues is being able to complete tasks quickly and efficiently,
as well as
Linking Words
gain useful knowledge imparted from more experienced fellows. Plus, we can offer assistance regarding things that we are capable of to someone who needs them.
For example
Linking Words
, students in a study group are proven to have better examination scores compared to those who studied alone because they managed to ameliorate each other’s understanding.
However
Linking Words
, some might take advantage of cooperation and grab the chance to not give any contributions.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, healthy
competitions
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
show examples
between communities can promote personal growth and development in a person. There are numerous skills that can be developed by competing with each other
such
Linking Words
as punctuality, quick thinking, and logical thinking.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent study found that working under pressure can increase an individual’s focus by about 20%.
Hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
would be helpful for companies to boost their monthly sales by improving workers’ qualities and rewarding employees
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
their performance.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I support the view that competing against each other is more crucial for
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
and community’s growth. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
cooperating with each other can offer people promising work, I believe that being competitive leads to success in their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
or
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
Submitted by maisarahamirah16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to provide an even clearer and more nuanced analysis of both viewpoints in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Make sure all points are fully developed and directly linked back to the main thesis for increased clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each body paragraph smoothly transitions into the next for better flow.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly wraps up the discussion and reiterates your stance effectively.
task achievement
The essay successfully addresses both sides of the argument, offering a balanced view.
task achievement
The essay includes specific examples to support the main points, which strengthens the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
Look at other essays: