Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A considerable number of individuals think that social
media
Use synonyms
platforms have significantly harmed society. I believe that
while
Linking Words
these platforms bring numerous benefits to
people
Use synonyms
, their negative effects - including misinformation and the decrease in human attention span - should not be overlooked. One important impact is how social
media
Use synonyms
spreads misinformation to its users. Social platform allows
people
Use synonyms
to quickly access a wide range of
information
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
might be a major benefit, it
also
Linking Words
means false
information
Use synonyms
will spread rapidly.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
the majority of users are
people
Use synonyms
from the age of 18-29, individuals from younger age groups are increasingly using social networking applications.
This
Linking Words
poses a threat because these users can not yet differentiate inaccurate
information
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, I have seen many
people
Use synonyms
consistently drinking hot water or eating garlic during the COVID-19 pandemic just because some random newspaper claimed that doing that could prevent the virus.
In addition
Linking Words
, social
media
Use synonyms
is gradually depleting human attention span. Aside from posts and statuses, features like
Youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
Shorts and Instagram Reels, ... can easily be accessed, and are extremely addictive
due to
Linking Words
their mechanics of the endless cycle of scrolling. These "Shorts" and "Reels" only
last
Linking Words
for 20-30 seconds, and it takes the human mind about 40 seconds to start comprehending.
As a result
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
Reclaim.ai, just as the brain starts focusing and a new video is played, the concentration flow is reset, which triggers
people
Use synonyms
's short-term memory abilities.
However
Linking Words
, social networking sites are not entirely negative. Social
media
Use synonyms
helps
people
Use synonyms
stay connected and share
information
Use synonyms
conveniently.
However
Linking Words
, the downsides often outweigh the benefits,
such
Linking Words
as the rising danger of misinformation and the decline of human attention span.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it's crucial to be aware and maintain a healthy relationship with them.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your introduction effectively presents your viewpoint, but could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the extent to which you agree or disagree.
coherence and cohesion
While your ideas are logically organized, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that reflects the main idea to improve coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Consider expanding your conclusion to summarize your main points more explicitly, reinforcing the overall argument.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, making your points more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, with distinct paragraphs for each main idea, which enhances readability.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • face-to-face
  • interactions
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • polarize
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • procrastination
  • productivity
  • social isolation
  • dissemination
  • breeding ground
  • vast amounts
  • personal information
  • mental health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: