IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar charts below show precipitation in hot desert climate grasslands in 1980 and 2000.

The bar charts below show precipitation in hot desert climate grasslands in 1980 and 2000.
The bar charts give information about the hot desert climate grasslands
precipitation
Use synonyms
 rate between 1980 and 2000 yearly. Units are measured in millimetres (
mm
Use synonyms
).
Overall
Linking Words
, the
precipitation
Use synonyms
 in the desert fluctuated over the year for both periods given. Meanwhile, there was a huge decline in the average
precipitation
Use synonyms
 in 2000 compared to the year 1980. In 1980, the highest
precipitation
Use synonyms
level
Use synonyms
 is on March was around 325
mm
Use synonyms
 and the
precipitation
Use synonyms
 significantly decreased in June was about 160
mm
Use synonyms
 which is the lowest
level
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
1980 year and steadily increased in the
last
Linking Words
 5 months. Meanwhile, in 2000 March and April were the lowest
precipitation
Use synonyms
 levels were at 47
mm
Use synonyms
 which are huge decline compared to the same period in 1980.
Also
Linking Words
, the
precipitation
Use synonyms
level
Use synonyms
 of June in 2000 was at 53
mm
Use synonyms
 which is the highest
level
Use synonyms
Linking Words
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
as August was at 53
mm
Use synonyms
 compared to June and August in 1980.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words precipitation, mm, level with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: