Wild animal have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, there is a proliferation of discussions about animal captivity.

Nevertheless

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, some people consider that the animal relocating in one place is the extravagancy budgeting. I personally do not entirely accept

this

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, and I will explain why.

Firstly

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, many forests or

animals

Use synonyms

' homes have changed to other functions. There are many woodlands were destroyed for city expansion.

Hence

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, it can impact the

animals

Use synonyms

' loss of homes.

For instance

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, Indonesia's government has a project to move the capital city from Jakarta to Kalimantan, which is the area of the new administrative city planned in the central forests.

This

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area needs to destroy the forests massively, and It

gives

Verb problem

makes

show examples

a significant contribution to the disappearing of animal habitats.

As a result

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it is clear that

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relocating wildlife in an open-range zoo is very important for the sustainability of

animals

Use synonyms

Secondly

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, one of the reasons for the importance of animal sanctuaries is to prevent the animal from extinction. Some wildlife

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

have experienced species disappearance,

such

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as Orang Utan in Kalimantan.

Besides

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that, it can protect wildlife from illegal hunters, which is, as reports from some research, the increase of animal endangered caused by many animal killers illegally.

Therefore

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, to solve

this

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problem is making places like animal captivity.

To conclude

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, I strongly disagree with some people who consider building zoo parks a waste of money because it is a significant benefit for

animals

Use synonyms

who are experiencing home loss and saves them from massive hunters.

Consequently

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, it is recommended that building animal shelters can keep their survival.

maqbul.mohammad.mSun Jul 14 2024

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task response

Your introduction is clear but could be stronger by explicitly stating whether you agree or disagree and touching briefly on your main points.

coherence cohesion

Work on maintaining a logical flow between paragraphs. Consider using transitional phrases to link ideas more effectively.

task response

Try to be more specific in your examples and elaborate on the explanations to provide a clearer picture. For instance, provide more detail about the impact of moving the capital city in Indonesia on specific animal species.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument well.

task response

You provided relevant examples, like the case of Indonesia's capital city relocation and the threat to the Orang Utan. This strengthens your argument.

task response

You addressed the topic well by explaining both the loss of habitat and the threats from illegal hunting as reasons for protecting wildlife in the 21st century.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Biodiversity
Ecosystem services
Conservation
Species extinction
Ecological balance
Habitat preservation
Biosphere
Sustainable tourism
Ethical obligation
Flora and fauna
Natural heritage
Endangered species
Wildlife management
Anthropogenic impacts
Ecotourism

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Wild animal have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is beer in the countryside. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

ich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes who use banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?