Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most patients do not follow an exercise routine. Why do you think this happens? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly?

#doctors #people #exercise #patients

No one can deny that some people believe that people do

exercise

regularly,

while

others prefer to think that most patients do not follow an

exercise

routine . It is important to admit that both views have their own benefits. In

this

essay , I will discuss the possible

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

that support each view , and what benefits they bring to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. On the one hand . The options to think that encourages the older

humes

Correct your spelling

homes

to do

exercise

put the price when do

exercise

regularly

in addition

Correct your spelling

show examples

the competitions between them. On the other hands

Submitted by almeem on Sun Jul 14 2024

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task achievement

Your introduction is not clearly stating the reasons or solutions for the lack of exercise among older people. Try to reframe your introduction to directly address the task, which is explaining why older people do not follow an exercise routine and how they can be encouraged to do so.

coherence cohesion

Ensure you provide a logical structure by clearly dividing your essay into paragraphs, each addressing a specific point. For example, one paragraph could discuss reasons for the lack of exercise, and another could talk about possible solutions.

task achievement

It's important to develop each point comprehensively. For example, when mentioning 'competitions,' specify what types of competitions might be effective and why they would encourage older people.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is currently lacking a clear conclusion. Summarize your main points and end with a conclusive statement that summarizes the suggested solutions for the problem addressed.

task achievement

You have expressed an intention to discuss both views, which is good practice for balanced argumentation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

98 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most patients do not follow an exercise routine. Why do you think this happens? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The media has become too influential in peoples lives today and this is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write about the following topic:250 words The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.-

to what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages?

Large-scale festivals attract tourists, bring economic benefits to an area, while taking away the local culture. Discuss the adv and the dav

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.