IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals
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In the 24/7 world, environmental degradation is the most likely cause of the planet's destruction. A group of scientists question whether there are threats more critical than the loss of living things in nature or not.
This
 essay disputes both sides of the coin. Undoubtedly, there are bags of bases for supposing that the extinction of life in the environment is the main problem. First and foremost, with the disappearance of animals, the level of food in the world will drop significantly. To serve as a clear example,
according to
 the report of the UN, between 2000 and 2018, about 150 livestock breeds disappeared.
Secondly
, plant extinctions can lead to a whole cascade of extinctions in other organisms that rely on them,
for instance
, insects that use plants for food and for laying their eggs. By
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
way of illustration, on average, more than two plant species have gone extinct each year for the past 250 years,
according to
 a 2019 study cited in the report of N.E.E.
Conversely
, the globe is at risk of more powerful disasters.
To begin
 with, ozone depletion and the ozone hole have generated worldwide concern over increased cancer risks and other negative effects. To exemplify, research made by experts at the University of Toronto came up with a conclusion: the ozone can adversely affect the environment and human health. Being highly reactive, it can cause a 25% increase in skin carcinomas and melanomas.
Furthermore
, since the Industrial Revolution, the global annual temperature has increased significantly. As proof, if the government is unable to reduce our emissions, scientists believe that climate change could lead to the deaths of more than 250,000 people around the globe every year and force 100 million people into poverty by 2030. To wrap up what was mentioned above, after having analyzed,
discussed
Correct word choice
and discussed
show examples
 both sides, have got to mention that both statements are equally substantial.
Thus
, it is wholeheartedly believed that boffins will solve hazardous moments in the future through cooperative work.
Submitted by Umar on

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task achievement
The essay presents both sides of the argument fairly and provides relevant examples to support each view.
introduction
The conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and presents a thoughtful opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a good logical structure, with clear paragraphs dedicated to each viewpoint.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
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