Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There are people who believe that it is mandatory to give full-time
education
to students around 18 years old.
However
, I somewhat stand with the view that
this
will only develop more negative effects on learners.
To begin
with, studying full-time is beneficial in the sense that each student will have more time to focus on learning and improving their knowledge.
Moreover
, there will be no distractions
such
as the need to do other things,
for example
, they don’t need to work if they are capable of enrolling and pursuing studies without having issues with money.
Thus
, giving all their time to educate themselves will be an advantage for their future.
Conversely
, not all students particularly at least 18 years old can afford to do full-time
education
. Some need to get additional finance to support their studies. Let's say, a college student is required to finish the semester to graduate but is not able to
due to
lack of money,
as a result
, they will look for work in order to provide funds for
education
.
Therefore
, it varies depending on their capabilities to finish
education
without the need to find an occupation.
Additionally
, some learners prefer to take rest
due to
mental reasons, others prefer to delay learning to prioritise their mental health.
For instance
, if there is too much stress or pressure, the need to rest is more reasonable than to continue going to school.
Thus
, each students need time to breathe, others might choose to stop for years, and some opt to just take a break for a few months to relax their brain and release
unwelcomed
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vibes for a more stable mind when they decide to go back to school. In conclusion, full-length
education
is good because learners can give their full attention to their studies.
However
, I partially believe that doing
this
approach may have more negative effects on student especially if they are not capable of supporting themselves financially and if they need space to stabilize their mental health and capacity.
Submitted by cng123 on

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task response
Ensure that all points relate directly to the question of whether education until 18 should be mandatory. Some points seem more about general education benefits, which might drift slightly off task.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to connect the arguments and counterarguments clearly. This will enhance the flow of the essay.
task response
Consider providing more concrete examples to strengthen your points. This will add depth and clarity to your argument.
task response
The essay presents a balanced view, considering both the advantages and disadvantages of full-time education until 18.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame the argument well.
coherence cohesion
The essay logically structures the points, touching on both financial and mental health aspects of education.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental cornerstone
  • literacy and numeracy
  • social inequalities
  • foundation of knowledge
  • social mobility
  • informed and engaged citizenry
  • democratic processes
  • youth crime rates
  • productive activities
  • vocational training
  • workforce
  • stifling individual talent
  • economic contribution
  • stress and mental health issues
  • unsuitable educational system
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • diverse talents
  • career paths
  • formal academic education
  • financial strains
  • low-income countries
  • improving quality of education
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