Many manufactured food and drinks contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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Processed foods and beverages laden with significant
sugar
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levels pose a threat to human well-being.
While
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it is argued that escalating the
prices
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of these products could dissuade people from consuming excess
sugar
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, I vehemently disagree with
this
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proposal, citing concerns over its economic impact on the food industry and the encroachment on individual freedom and choice. To commence, a surge in the costs of sugary goods would undoubtedly carry severe economic repercussions.
This
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hike in
prices
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could engender far-reaching consequences, particularly impacting sectors like the food industry. The potential fallout,
such
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as increased unemployment rates in jobs reliant on the production of these items, is a considerable concern.
For instance
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, the closure of numerous bakery factories could become a stark reality as consumers grapple with the financial strain imposed by elevated fees for products like cakes.
In addition
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to the economic conundrum, I contend that
such
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a measure is a form of paternalism, impinging on personal autonomy. Elevating the
prices
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of sugary items could disproportionately affect individuals with lower incomes, exacerbating societal inequalities.
This
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approach might inadvertently deepen the socioeconomic divide. Contrary to proponents who argue that higher
prices
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serve as a decisive deterrent,
this
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perspective fails to consider critical nuances, most notably the socio-economic disparities within society. The idea of universally deterring
sugar
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consumption through price hikes does not account for the financial constraints faced by individuals with lower incomes. In conclusion,
while
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acknowledging the health concerns associated with excessive
sugar
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intake, the proposition to make sugary products more expensive as a deterrent is a problematic solution. The potential economic fallout and the infringement on individual freedoms should prompt us to seek alternative, more balanced approaches to promote healthier dietary choices.
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task achievement
When addressing the topic, ensure you are fully engaging with the question by providing a clear opinion and relevant examples. Your essay did state a clear opinion, however, the examples provided were not entirely convincing or specific to the argument.
coherence cohesion
While the essay had a discernible beginning and end, the introduction and conclusion could be more focused on the topic and provide clearer bookends to the argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure within your paragraphs. Use linking phrases to better connect your ideas and arguments throughout the essay, thereby enhancing the readability and flow of your text.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sugar consumption
  • Sin taxes
  • Price elasticity
  • Health implications
  • Obesity
  • Diabetes
  • Dental caries
  • Subsidies
  • Clear labeling
  • Educational campaigns
  • Regressive tax
  • Healthier choices
  • Reformulation
  • Consumer autonomy
  • Dietary choices
  • Sugar tax
  • Heart disease
  • Behavioral economics
  • Public health
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