IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. What are the advantages and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #desert #antarctic #visit
In
this
 contemporary epoch, with the development of technical devices tourism has become a big industry. Some
places
such
 as the Antarctic or the Sahara Desert that have extreme
weather
 conditions are explored by the public.
This
 essay will delve into the advantages and disadvantages of visiting
such
 locations and will lead to a logical conclusion as well.
To begin
 with, the most prominent benefit of visiting
places
 with extreme conditions could help the tourist to understand and experience the hardships of the natives of the location.
Moreover
,
this
 helps to explore the culture, language, and living style of people who live and deal with hardships of hot or cold
weather
.
Moreover
, they can enjoy the beauty of green lands with a variety of flora and fauna and the adorable mountains of
South
Correct article usage
the South
show examples
 Pole.
However
, visits to
such
places
 bring some risks as well
for instance
, it is not usual for the common people to survive in
such
 high or low
weather
due to
 which they suffer from health issues.
Thus
, visiting there could be disruptive if humans do not follow proper precautions. Meanwhile, these areas do not have available proper health treatments and it may even lead to some serious risks to life like death.
To conclude
, as per the statements mentioned above it is crystal clear that when visiting
places
 with extremely high or low
weather
 helps common people understand and explore those beautiful areas but
along with
 that if proper measures are not followed
then
 their health might get affected.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
Try to provide more relevant specific examples to strengthen your points. Specific instances or anecdotes will make your arguments more persuasive.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically to the next paragraph. This can improve the overall smoothness of your essay.
supported main points
Focus more on elaborating each advantage and disadvantage with supporting points. Detailed explanations can make your arguments more comprehensive.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction does a good job of setting up the context of the essay and leading to a logical conclusion.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have a clear organization in your essay, and you adequately cover both the advantages and disadvantages of visiting places with extreme conditions.
task achievement
The language and vocabulary used are appropriate for discussing the topic, and the essay maintains a formal tone throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: