Parents of obese children should be punished for making them fat. Do you agree or disagree?
It is often argued that
parents
of overweight children
should face consequences for causing their children
to become obese. This
essay agrees with this
statement because parental negligence can lead to severe health
issues for children
and increase the likelihood of them being bullied by their peers.
The prevalence of childhood obesity
has reached alarming levels, and the role of parents
in this
epidemic cannot be overstated. Parents
are responsible for managing their children
’s diet and ensuring they receive adequate nutrition. A balanced diet rich in proteins, vitamins, and minerals is essential for a child’s growth and development. Furthermore
, parents
should actively discourage the consumption of unhealthy foods high in sugars and fats. For instance
, controlling the intake of sweets and instant foods can significantly reduce the risk of obesity
. According to
recent research, obesity
is a major contributor to heart disease. Thus
, responsible parenting involves ensuring children
maintain a healthy diet to prevent such
severe health
complications.
In addition
to health
risks, obese children
are more vulnerable to bullying, which can have detrimental effects on their mental health
. Bullies often target those who appear physically weaker and less active, and obese children
frequently fall into this
category. This
relentless bullying can erode their self-esteem and confidence, making them easy targets. Prolonged exposure to such
harassment can lead to serious psychological issues, including depression and anxiety. Studies have shown that a significant percentage of students who drop out of school due to
bullying are overweight. This
statistic highlights the critical need for parents
to take proactive measures in preventing obesity
to safeguard their children
's mental well-being.
In conclusion, parents
should be held accountable if their son or daughter becomes obese, as their children
are more susceptible to health
complications and bullying. Sanctioning parents
might encourage them to take more responsibility for their children
’s well-being, ultimately leading to healthier, happier lives for their children
.Submitted by maisarahamirah16 on
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task response
The main argument is presented clearly and the essay stays on topic. However, the essay could benefit from a bit more depth and additional examples. Consider discussing counterarguments to show a well-rounded perspective.
coherence
While the structure of the essay is logical, try to ensure that each paragraph flows more smoothly into the next. Use transitional phrases to connect ideas more seamlessly.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to enhance the cohesion of the essay. This would also make it easier for the reader to follow your line of thought.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which adequately frame the discussion.
examples
The use of examples, such as the intake of sweets and instant foods, effectively supports the main points.
content
The ideas are comprehensive and relevant, contributing to a strong argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?