Discuss the increase of live streaming opposed to the attending venues live
The increase of streaming via PC or computer has become more popular over the years. Some even say it is even more popular than live events. In
this
essay, I will discuss the benefits of both and give my opinion on the matter
Streaming services, like Netflix or Amazon, have been increasingly popular over the last
year. The convenience of watching your favourite artist or sports team,
has tempted lots of pundits to subscribe to an online service. The reasons for Remove the comma
apply
this
are multifaceted. While
being at home
, spectators can enjoy the privacy of their homes, without bothering to drive to the venue, where they have to pay for parking as well. The comfort of being inside, shielded from the elements, has proven to be a big factor in the decision of many people
to disband going to venues in person. Additionally
, the cost of attending such
events is lower, because the cost-sharing aspect of needing only one ticket on streaming services substantially improves its attractiveness. Furthermore
, drinks and snacks do not have to be purchased at inflated prices when pundits can stay at home
. Taking breaks, for
example
going to the toilet, does not have to be a catastrophic event, leading to missing important occurrences in the live stream.
Add a comma
example,
On the other hand
, when watching things on the television, a certain important aspect is missing, namely the ability to socialize and interact with peers. Many people
enjoy the fact of meeting new friends and discussing the event while
it is taking place. Potential new partners are not met, and new friendships are not being established. The atmosphere experienced at the venue is not something that can be replicated easily at home
. Large crowds lead to an immersive experience that a television set can not topple.
Overall
, I have to conclude
that, even when streaming services are becoming more and more convenient for more people
. The unique experiences people
get from attending live do not compare to watching something from home
.Submitted by laurens.belgium on
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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay. This helps set the stage for the reader.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on why the benefits of live events outweigh the convenience of streaming services. This will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the transition between your paragraphs. For example, you can start the second paragraph with a connector such as 'On the other hand' or 'Conversely' to better signal the shift in focus.
coherence cohesion
Add a bit more detail to your conclusion to solidify your stance. You could summarize the main points once more before giving your final opinion.
task achievement
The essay effectively compares the benefits of streaming services and attending live events, making it clear to the reader.
task achievement
Examples and reasons provided to support your points are relevant and enhance the argument.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with a clear division of paragraphs addressing separate points of discussion.
coherence cohesion
You have an engaging writing style that keeps the reader interested throughout the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?