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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils,while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform?

In today's society, there is a wide range of opinions on the topic of
school
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uniforms
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. Some schools enforce strict dress codes,
while
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 others have more relaxed policies. Both approaches have their own set of advantages and disadvantages for children. One of the main advantages of having a
school
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uniform
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 is that it promotes a sense of equality among
students
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. When everyone is dressed in the same way, there is less room for discrimination based on clothing.
This
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 can help to create a more inclusive and cohesive
school
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 community.
Additionally
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,
school
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uniforms
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 can help to instil a sense of discipline and pride in
students
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. By wearing a
uniform
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,
students
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 represent their
school
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 and are more likely to behave in a respectful manner.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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 disadvantages to having a
school
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uniform
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. Some kids may feel restricted or uncomfortable in a
uniform
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, which can affect their confidence and self-expression.
Furthermore
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,
school
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uniforms
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 can be costly for families, especially if they have multiple children attending the same
school
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.
This
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 can create financial strain for some families and may lead to feelings of resentment towards the
school
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.
In contrast
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, educational institutions with optional attire allow pupils to express themselves through their clothing choices.
This
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 can help foster creativity and individuality among pupils.
However
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, a relaxed dress code can
likewise
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 lead to distractions and disruptions in the classroom. Pupils may be more focused on their appearance than on their studies, which can impact their academic performance. In conclusion, both strict
school
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uniforms
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 and relaxed dress codes have their own set of advantages and disadvantages for children. It is important for educational institutions to strike a balance between promoting equality and discipline, whilst
also
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 allowing
students
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 to express themselves. Ultimately, the goal should be to create a positive and inclusive learning environment for all
students
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.

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task achievement
You have done a commendable job in addressing the task prompt fully, presenting clear and comprehensive ideas about the advantages and disadvantages of school uniforms. However, the essay could benefit from including more specific examples to further illustrate and support your points. For instance, mentioning specific studies or anecdotal evidence could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion. The logical structure of your arguments flows seamlessly from one point to the next. To elevate your essay further, consider using more complex sentence structures and transitional phrases to enhance the readability and flow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by presenting the differing opinions on school uniforms in a balanced manner. Similarly, the conclusion succinctly wraps up the arguments and reaffirms the importance of striking a balance between uniformity and self-expression.
coherence cohesion
Your points are well-supported and logically presented, making your arguments easy to follow. This level of clarity enhances the overall readability and persuasiveness of your essay.
task achievement
You achieved a comprehensive response to the task, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages in a fair and unbiased manner.

Your opinion

Donโ€™t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Donโ€™t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ ยป- a book that's free for ๐Ÿš€ Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • peer pressure
  • bullying
  • socio-economic differences
  • school spirit
  • unity
  • discipline
  • belonging
  • self-expression
  • individuality
  • personal development
  • fashion-related distractions
  • academic performance
  • morning routine
  • comfort
  • financial burden
  • cultural differences
  • diverse backgrounds
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