Some people think that the best way to get the news is through newpapers while others think it it through online media. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Opinions are divided on whether people can achieve account by journal or whether we can collect it by other social platforms.

While

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I may acknowledge the reasons behind the former views, I still firmly support the latter. Those who believe that achieving word by newspapers is better may have several arguments. From their perspective, get information from newspapers, especially for older citizens.

In addition

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, it is very hard to change these habits, because they must learn how to operate the internet.

Besides

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that, they

also

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think that a magazine is more reliable than the Internet because the magazine is written by a senior journalist and through a crucial step, editing. If they do not understand how to operate, they will get lost in the news.

On the other hand

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, in recent years, modern technology has become one of the biggest advancements. For more details, it is so easy to search for some information and words from anywhere. We can just write the address or even download apps. To illustrate

this

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situation, I will take Indonesia as a country with various sources of information.

For instance

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, detik.com, kompas.com, and tempo.co.id. Those are the highest platforms with millions of readers.

Furthermore

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, online media offer good visuality

such

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as video, audio or even animation

that is

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so interesting without making the viewer bored compared to hard copies. The most crucial is time. Online intelligence gives factual conditions

while

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newspapers must be printed and can be seen the next day. In conclusion, it is understandable why some may argue that search by newspaper could be faster than.

However

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, I would take the view that using online tools is always better.

Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhàMon Jun 10 2024

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task achievement

Work on making the introduction clearer and more concise. Clearly state the two views you will discuss and your opinion.

task achievement

Improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of ideas. Some sentences are unclear or awkwardly phrased, which can make the argument hard to follow.

task achievement

Develop your main points further. For example, add more specific examples or evidence to support each perspective.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical structure by ensuring each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next. Use transition words effectively to guide the reader.

coherence cohesion

Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined. The conclusion should succinctly summarise your discussion and restate your opinion in a compelling manner.

coherence cohesion

Strengthen the support for your main points. Providing more specific examples and elaborating on them can make your argument more persuasive.

task achievement

You have attempted to discuss both views and provide your own opinion, which is essential for this task.

task achievement

You used specific examples to support your points, such as the references to Indonesian news sources.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion structure, which is good for overall coherence.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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