IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many offenders commit crimes again after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem

A number of criminals re-offend after being released from prison.
This
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 essay will examine the primary cause of
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 and suggest possible solutions to
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 problem There are two main reasons why many ex-prisoners commit crimes again after serving their first sentence. The first one is that they find it hard to get a job because of their criminal records. Without money to support themselves and their family, many of them have no choice but to engage in illegal activities as a way of making ends meet. Another reason is that it is difficult for ex-convicts to integrate into their community. After prison, many people try to live a normal life but they are pushed away by their neighbours, friends and even family members.
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, many consider joining gangs in order to gain a sense of belonging and connection. Various solutions can be taken to address
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 issue. One solution would be for the government to provide education and vocational training for prisoners.
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 helps equip them with the necessary knowledge and skills for life after prison and increases their chances of getting a job. Another measure would be to organise more community service programs,
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 as cleaning the street or planting trees around the neighbourhood to give former criminals more opportunities to build positive relationships with others. After burning that ex-prisoners can contribute something positive to society, many citizens might change their attitude towards their loved ones, friends, or neighbours who have committed crimes. In conclusion, there are two primary reasons why many ex-prisoners
reoffend
Correct your spelling
re-offend
, and a number of actions can be taken to tackle
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 problem.

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task achievement
Provide more detailed examples or statistics to support your claims about re-offending rates and the effectiveness of rehabilitation programs. This will enhance the credibility of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that all your ideas are clearly linked. Use transition words effectively to guide the reader through your arguments.
structure
Strong introduction and conclusion that clearly outline the topic and provide a summary of the main points.
task achievement
Your identification of key issues, such as the lack of employment opportunities and societal integration, effectively addresses the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • recidivism
  • rehabilitation programs
  • social stigma
  • ex-convicts
  • reintegration
  • support systems
  • mental health issues
  • addiction problems
  • criminal networks
  • incarceration
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