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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

2.Government pays university tuition for students (which means students do not have to pay). Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#government #university #tuition #students
In contemporary society, paying university
tuition
 for
students
 by the
government
 has sparked a degree of controversy among people.
While
this
 trend may have certain benefits, I believe that they are far overshadowed by their drawbacks. On the one hand, there are some benefits of utilizing
government
 funds to cover university
tuition
 fees.
Firstly
,
this
 can help
students
 who are impoverished to have the opportunity to pursue higher
education
, which contributes to improving the
education
 level of the entire country. Without free
education
, fewer
students
 would be able to attend universities.
Secondly
, when the
government
 pays
tuition
 fees, the financial burden on
students
 could be reduced.
This
 allows learners to focus entirely on their studies and improve their academic performance. If
students
 have to pay
tuition
 fees by themselves, they might have to seek part-time employment as waiters or shop assistants, potentially neglecting their academic responsibilities.
On the other hand
, I believe that
this
 policy has more significant drawbacks. The first disadvantage is that as
students
 do not have to pay for their
education
, they might not appreciate their chance to study.
For instance
, they may neglect lectures or fail to complete assignments on schedule.
This
 leads to a significant waste of
government
 funds.
Additionally
, because there are currently a great number of universities which contain many
students
, the
government
 might have to spend a huge proportion of the budget to support
this
 policy.
As a result
, the amount of investment in other important sectors
such
 as healthcare and the military might be reduced, which could lead to a poorer standard of living for all citizens. In conclusion,
while
 there are advantages to the
government
 covering university
tuition
 for
students
, I am of the opinion that the disadvantages associated with
this
 approach are more substantial. It is crucial for the
government
 to make a judicious decision regarding its support for student universities by carefully weighing the pros and cons of
this
 policy.
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task achievement
It's important to balance the advantages and disadvantages with more specific examples rather than general statements. Try mentioning instances from countries where such policies are implemented to provide a stronger argument.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is generally well structured, some transitions between points could be smoother. Consider using more transitional phrases to guide the reader more effectively between ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes it easy to follow the arguments presented.
task achievement
The essay directly addresses the prompt and makes a clear argument regarding the advantages and disadvantages of government-paid university tuition, fulfilling the task achievement criteria.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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