Some commentator feel that grandparents should live together with their children and grandparnts, while others say that elderly people should be encouraged to live independently. Discuss both the sides and give your opinion.

#commentator #grandparents #children #grandparnts #people

Nowadays, it is debated among the public whether

ederly

Correct your spelling

elderly

people should live with their kids and grandchildren or independently. From my perspective, both sides have their own

adavantages

Correct your spelling

advantages

but I am more inclined toward extended family which I will explain in the next paragraph.

To begin

with, living with

such

rousing

Correct article usage

a rousing

show examples

family needs a good rapport to foster stronger bonds and allow shared responsibility

such

as caregiving for the old or young ones.

For instance

, an older person with dementia

is usually needs

Change the verb form

usually needs

show examples

more care and close monitoring for them to ensure

safeness

Replace the word

safe

show examples

environments without neglecting the older generations.

Thus

, elderly people may feel more meaningful and engaged when they live with the person

their

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

loved

Wrong verb form

love

show examples

and

reduced

Wrong verb form

reduce

show examples

the

Change the word

their

show examples

feeling

Fix the agreement mistake

feelings

show examples

of isolation which can lead to mental disease namely depression.

On the other hand

, some might think that

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

independent living promotes a sense of self-worth that

boost

Correct subject-verb agreement

boosts

show examples

their

confidences

Fix the agreement mistake

confidence

show examples

and mental health.

In addition

this

helps maintain their own

rountines

Correct your spelling

routines

and lifestyles without disruptions,

somestimes

Correct your spelling

sometimes

, leading to higher satisfaction.

As a result

, less concerns from their kids as they

thinks

Change the verb form

think

show examples

that will be managed well by themselves,

not to mention

, family conflicts.

However

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

decisions can be crucial when it comes to emergency situations. In conclusion,

consider

Wrong verb form

considering

show examples

both trends

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

benefits but it would be wise if the elderly stay will their family to

prevert

Correct your spelling

prevent

unfortunate events in time to come.

Submitted by tifjong on Tue Jul 16 2024

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task achievement

You have provided a clear response to the task, weighing both sides of the argument and giving your own perspective. However, try to include more specific and varied examples to strengthen your points.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a logical structure, but some transitions between ideas could be clearer. Use connecting phrases to improve the flow of your argument.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetitions of similar ideas. Instead, consider addressing a point from a slightly different angle to add depth to your essay.

introduction

Your introduction clearly outlines the issue and your opinion.

supported main points

You effectively present both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

232 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Multigenerational
Family bonds
Caregiving
Wisdom
Cultural heritage
Financial benefits
Pooling of resources
Isolation
Autonomy
Self-worth
Mental health
Routines
Lifestyles
Satisfaction
Independence
Emergency situations
Familial conflicts
Mutual respect
Obligation

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Some commentator feel that grandparents should live together with their children and grandparnts, while others say that elderly people should be encouraged to live independently. Discuss both the sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The most important of science should be to improve people's lives. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?.

Directors of large organisations receive much higher salaries than ordinary workers. Some think it is necessary, while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

You have bought some clothing online and are not satisfied with your purchase. Write a letter to the company that you bought the clothing from. In your email •Give details of your purchase •Describe the problem •Explain why you need a replacement urgently

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that to benefit the development of a child, the mother and father should take parenting classes. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement?