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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the percentage of people using private cars in five Australian cities between 2000 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of people using private cars in five Australian cities between 2000 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentage #people #cars #five #australian #cities #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph illustrates the percentage of people driving private cars in five
cities
Use synonyms
 Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth and Adelaide over the given period.
Overall
Linking Words
, most
cities
Use synonyms
 increased approximately 10 per
cent
Use synonyms
 points, with the exception of Melbourne. Melbourne decreased by nearly 10 per
cent
Use synonyms
 point. Looking at the line graph more closely, one can see that Adelaide went up by almost 10 per
cent
Use synonyms
 point from almost 70 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2000 to almost 80 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2010. Perth has shown
gradual
Correct article usage
a gradual
show examples
 upward trend from 2000 to 2010.
By contrast
Linking Words
, Sydney peaked at over 40 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2006.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 city dropped nearly 10 per
cent
Use synonyms
 point nearly 40 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2006 to nearly 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2010. In conclusion, all
cities
Use synonyms
 have experienced an upward trend.
As a result
Linking Words
, it
pressures
Correct subject-verb agreement
pressure
show examples
all
Change preposition
on all
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
 will go up and down over the period.
Submitted by garim4645 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cities, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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