Today, anybody can use a mobile phone to answer the work and personal calls at any time or 7 days a week. Does this development have more positive or negative effects on both individuals and society?

Thanks to the significant development of technology, electrical equipment like smartphones has become indispensable in modern
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
. These advancements empower workers to stay connected to workspaces and promptly manage personal calls through cell phones. In
this
essay, I will explore the empowerment these devices bring, discussing both their advantages and disadvantages and sharing my perspective. On the one hand, a primary reason for promptly responding to messages and calls through mobile phones is to increase productivity.
As a result
, people can easily access company emails and documents and collaborate remotely. One excellent example is that some applications,
such
as Gmail and Google Chat, allow employers and managers to assign tasks and communicate with each other more efficiently.
Furthermore
, by enhancing the quality of their customer service, businesses can improve customer satisfaction, increasing returning buyers and their revenue as a whole.
On the other hand
, constantly receiving notifications through smartphones can be one of the key distractions. People can be easily disturbed by continuously incoming messages that appear directly on their screens regardless of time and location.
Consequently
, they can never truly enjoy their time for entertainment and relaxation.
For instance
, a study revealed that 70% of office workers experience burnout
due to
their inability to disconnect from work.
In addition
, staying available on phones draws employees away from their recovery and family time, resulting in stress and mental decline. A survey showed that 35% of employees agreed that smartphone usage negatively impacted their work-life balance.
This
survey suggests that constantly being available for work through connected devices leads to feelings of being on the clock even outside of office hours. In conclusion,
while
smartphones bring benefits
such
as increased productivity and accessibility to emergency situations, they
also
pose the risk of losing the balance between work and life.
Hence
, given these positive developments, every individual should take responsibility for managing smart device usage and finding solutions to utilize these devices most efficiently.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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Consider providing a more nuanced conclusion that acknowledges counterarguments before reiterating your stance.
coherence and cohesion
Strive for smoother transitions between some paragraphs to enhance the logical flow.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay includes a clear structure with well-defined introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You effectively present specific examples to support your main points.
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Comprehensive and clear ideas are communicated effectively throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Logical structure and progression of ideas are executed well.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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