You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. In your letter describe the problem with the equipment explain how this problem is affecting your work say what you want the shop or company to do

#work #home #piece #equipment #job #shop #company

Dear Mr Abdullah I'm Ravshanova Mushtariy.I am writing in order to complain about a piece of equipment that I purchased from your shop,which I was using for my

work

at home. The equipment that I purchased is an electric saw.

Unfortunately

Add a comma

Unfortunately,

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I have noticed a significant problem with it.The device is failing to power on and

also

some of the teeth are broken.I noticed it before even using it.

Firstly

I plugged it

,it

Change preposition

in,it

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was working without any flaw,

however

Add a comma

however,

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after exactly 1

hour

Add a comma

hour,

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it didn't

switched

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switch

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on. These issues are impacting my ability to carry on my

work

.As I rely on

this

equipment daily to use,it's causing a lot of problems and

also

taking

Change the word

show examples

lot of time

however

work

has to be done urgently,

therefore

we will celebrate a big event in our home,so

this

work

has to be done as soon as possible. Given the situation,I request that you arrange for a repair or provide a replacement as soon as possible.I would appreciate it if

this

situation could be resolved within the next 2 days.It would be great if it would be resolved earlier than 2 days. Please let me know if you have any questions to ask and contact me if anything is needed.I look forward to your response. Thanks for your attention. Yours sincerely, Ravshanova Mushtariy

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Tue Aug 13 2024

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coherence cohesion

In future, make sure to include more transitional phrases to ensure a smoother flow of ideas between paragraphs.

task achievement

While the overall tone is appropriate, using more formal language can enhance the formal nature of the correspondence.

coherence cohesion

Your letter is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

task achievement

You provided a detailed explanation of the problem with the equipment, how it affects your work, and a clear request for resolution.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

9 paragraphs

219 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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