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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the result of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reason why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Write a report for a university lecturer, describing the information shown below.

The charts below show the result of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reason why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Write a report for a university lecturer, describing the information shown below.
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The bar chart illustrates the reasons
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why
adults
Use synonyms
 decide to study .
Whereas
Linking Words
, the pie chart shows how
people
Use synonyms
 think the costs of adult education should be shared .
Overall
Linking Words
, the most common reason
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why
adults
Use synonyms
 decide to study is
interest
Correct pronoun usage
their interest
show examples
 in
subject
Add an article
the subject
show examples
 .
Also
Linking Words
 , the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 think that the fee
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
adults
Fix the agreement mistake
adult
show examples
 education should be shared individually . Starting with the causes of
adults
Use synonyms
decide
Wrong verb form
deciding
show examples
 to study , there is a similarity in the number of percentages between
to
Correct pronoun usage
those to
show examples
 improve prospects of promotion and enjoy learning or studying which is 20 %.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , the least common reason is to meet
people
Use synonyms
 the average
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of it is 9 . Moving on to how
people
Use synonyms
 think the price of each course should be shared , 25% of
people
Use synonyms
 think that it should be shared by tax bar and it's the lowest average .
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
there's 35 % of
people
Use synonyms
 disagree and believe that it should be
by
Add a missing verb
done by
show examples
 employers .

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words adults, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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