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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Both men and woman care more about their appearance today than they did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#men #woman #care #appearance
In our days, both genders tend to care more about their front image because of social media influence to do so. From my perspective, I partially agree with
this
 statement seeing how
people
 put too much effort and money into accessories. The cusses and both positive and negative effects of
this
 trend will be analysed in
this
 essay First of all , the reasons for
this
 act are numerous,
however
 , the main reason is the media . Culiabrateis and influencers picture
this
 perfect lifestyle to
people
, letting
people
 follow them
be
Correct word choice
and be
show examples
 willing to have the same luxury lifestyle .
For instance
 , a famous person will post about their expensive bags that are worth millions of pounds trying to imply that only
people
 owning
this
 kind of badge are fashionable and more socially accepted. Moving the effects, there are both positive and negative effects
after
this
 trend . Starting with the good effect,
people
 dressing well gives them a chance to express them salves a gives them a sense of satisfaction. Whenever a person feels good and confident about themselves they become mentally balanced and all
this
 reflects positively on their life activities.
However
 ,
this
 might turn into an addiction where a person spends all their money and time on accessories just to fit in .
This
 can lead to severe problems
such
 as depression , comparing their life with others making them can not fulfil their satisfaction and maybe losing their home after being in debt because of bad money management. All in all , social media have a huge impact on everyone's lifestyle ,
Therefore
people
 should not overdo it to avoid its consequences.I believe that
people
 should focus on what they have more and hopefully,
this
 behaviour will be taken in the
upcoming
Correct word choice
near
show examples
 future.
Submitted by aseel on

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language
Improve grammatical accuracy, paying close attention to subject-verb agreement, punctuation, and spelling errors. This will enhance clarity and readability.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the conclusions by summarizing key points effectively and linking them back to the main argument. This will make your essay more impactful.
task achievement
Good effort in addressing both positive and negative effects of the trend, which shows balanced analysis.
coherence cohesion
Clear structure in presenting reasons and effects in separate paragraphs, demonstrating some level of organization.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social media platforms
  • beauty and personal care industry
  • societal norms
  • health and fitness
  • celebrity culture
  • technology advancements
  • cosmetic surgery
  • dermatology treatments
  • mental health awareness
  • self-esteem
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