IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Computers have made it possible for office workers to work remotely instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employers. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Due to
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 technological advancements,
work
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-from-home scenarios can be seen in many industries, especially the hybrid
work
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 environment is gaining popularity. Workers and employers, both are in the support of virtual
work
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. I believe
this
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 is a positive development in
this
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 contemporary era. I will explain its benefits to workers and employers in the upcoming paragraphs. There are enormous advantages to the employees for remote
work
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. The primitive merit is to save travel time,
hence
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, they can make productive use of that time in performing their family and social responsibilities.
Furthermore
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, it assists in resolving modern-day mental concerns
such
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 as isolation, depression and
work
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-life imbalance.
Secondly
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, less commuting means less traffic on roads, which not only reduces traffic congestion issues
,
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 but
also
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 reserves fuel and money, ultimately, beneficial for the environment as well.
Last
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 but not least, individuals can explore more
work
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 opportunities across the globe in companies which provide full
work
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-from-home options,
thus
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, geographical boundaries do not hinder their growth.
For example
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: in the Information Technology sector, many remote positions
such
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 as web
develper
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development
, data analysis, technical support etcetera can be noted throughout the globe where a person can
work
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 for a foreign employer in the comfort of their homeland. Not only employees
,
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 but
also
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 owners of businesses could get benefit from
this
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 trend. To operate their business, they need a lot of office space. Apart from space, they need multiple computer systems, high-speed internet and other utility arrangements. A big chunk of their expenses can be put aside
,
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 if personnel is working from home.
Additionally
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, at regular intervals, they need to provide refreshments to their working staff
,
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 and organise small events and parties. Thereby, a firm can use these reserve funds for other valuable ventures for the growth of the business. Adding to it, entrepreneurs can recruit talent from any part of the globe, thereby, businesses have more chances to boom by capturing the appropriate personnel for their
work
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. In conclusion, I would wrap up my essay by saying that remote working options are beneficial for both businesses and workers in fulfilling their personal, social, and economic needs.
Therefore
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, these working trends should be promoted throughout the world.

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task achievement
Add a stronger thesis statement at the end of the introduction to make your position clearer.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to help the flow of your ideas.
task achievement
Consider giving more specific examples in your points to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents the positive aspects of remote work for both workers and employers.
coherence cohesion
The structure is logical, with clear paragraphs for each main point.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work remotely
  • flexible schedule
  • work-life balance
  • happier employees
  • save money
  • reduce costs
  • office supplies
  • higher productivity
  • wider talent pool
  • skilled workers
  • feelings of isolation
  • distractions
  • effective communication
  • time management
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