Some people think we can use animals in the medical experiment for the benefits of humans, while others think this is a cruel thing, thus needing to be prohibited. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is a quite long history of
people
using
animals
in medical
experiments
. Even after centuries,
people
are still judging whether it should be prohibited, or should be continued because it is beneficial for humans. Personally, I think that it is beneficial to humans, and we may need to do that.
Animals
in medical
experiments
play an essential role in human life and health. We used birds to invent the plane. We used rats and rabbits to see what the brain structure looks like. All these examples show the benefit to humans of using
animals
in medical
experiments
.
This
makes our lives more convenient and it increases
people
’s lifespan to some extent because it helps a lot in surgeries and medicines.
Also
,
people
use
animals
to practise their operational skills, and
this
leads to a greater success rate when they are operating the human body. Different from centuries ago,
people
are now using
animals
in medical
experiments
under various rules.
Firstly
,
people
need to look after them in a humane way.
This
is mainly used to decrease the animal’s pain.
Secondly
, mammals like rats should be considered first rather than monkeys, gorillas and other primates.
Also
, nowadays
people
are treating experimental
animals
much better and humanely as well. All these rules’ settings make it less cruel and humane.
However
, it does not mean that we can use
animals
freely. More rules need to be established to build a more balanced ecosystem. In conclusion,
animals
in medical
experiments
helped a lot and had a lot of benefits but more rules should be built to make a better world.
Submitted by 572184932 on

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task achievement
While the essay covers both viewpoints and provides an opinion, including more specific and detailed examples could strengthen your arguments. Providing statistical data or scientific evidence might enhance the persuasiveness of your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, make sure to clearly separate your points with paragraphs. For instance, start a new paragraph when switching from one viewpoint to another to enhance readability and logical flow.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of the topic, acknowledging both sides of the argument.
task achievement
You provide reasons and examples to support your opinion, which helps in making your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of your essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The transitions between your points are smooth, which aids in maintaining the flow of the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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