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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many animals are facing extinction in the wild. Why is this happening? What can be done to protect them?

#animals #extinction
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In these
Change preposition
These
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 days, extinction is a normal thing that happens to several plants,
animals
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, and other non-renewable
things
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, but the most common thing to happen is the extinction of
animals
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 in the wild. One of the reasons why
this
Linking Words
 happens is because of
humans
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 who usually overuse them, so some steps must be taken to prevent
this
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. Many people agree with the statement "The world is better without
humans
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" because most
humans
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 in
this
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 era no longer care for
animals
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, especially endangered
animals
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. It can be seen from how they treat
animals
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;
for example
Linking Words
, hunters in the forest who are hunting for rare
animals
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 to sell them on the black market, and as mentioned,
humans
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 who overuse some
animals
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 for their profit, which can make them stressed and die easily.
For instance
Linking Words
, rare
animals
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 are taken to the zoo and forced to play in some attractions without being cared for properly. To prevent these
things
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, some measures must be taken to protect them.
For example
Linking Words
, the government must make
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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tighter rules about animal hunting and arrest the people who are responsible for animal trafficking. The authority should
also
Linking Words
 give some supervision to the zoo, which usually uses the
animals
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 for some attractions, by checking how they treat the
animals
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 and the procedure so that the
animals
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 will not be stressed. In conclusion, the extinction of
animals
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 in the wild is caused by several
things
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: animal trafficking and the overuse of
animals
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. The government must take some steps to prevent these
things
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 from happening again by making stricter rules, arresting the people responsible for animal trafficking, and giving supervision to zoos.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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