What invention in the last 30 years has made the most difference in the lives of people? Explain why it has had such a noteworthy effect. Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

Invention
is the mother of necessity. There are multifarious changes
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
show examples
been occured
Wrong verb form
occurred
show examples
in the lives of mankind in the
last
30 years. Phones and
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
are the notable changes that
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
gradual impacts on
People
Change noun form
People's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
This
essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. To commence with,
phone
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the phone
show examples
has
invented
Add a missing verb
been invented
show examples
gradually as compared to the previous era; it brings more Convenience to
people
communicate
Wrong verb form
communicating
show examples
with
others
.
Initially
Add a comma
Initially,
show examples
Phones were made for army personnel,
then
laterly
Correct your spelling
later
, It was introduced for Commercial, and
People
use;
For example
, after
inventing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the Phone, individuals
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
talked to their family members,
relativies
Correct your spelling
relationships
and friends circle,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
a result, it
protects
Wrong verb form
protected
show examples
their
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
, even they live far away, it's more Convenience to talk them own with in a fraction of second.
In other words
,
Phone
Fix the agreement mistake
Phones
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
altered
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
life
and
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
very strongly.
Furthermore
, the
Internet
is
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another milestone of
invention
because everything is Possible by using the
Internet
.
First
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The first
show examples
phase of WIFI, only
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
for Searching
information
Change preposition
for information
show examples
from Google, and
check
Replace the word
checking
show examples
mails
Correct your spelling
emails
show examples
; after that, it was provided
an
Add the preposition
with an
show examples
extra facility like
Chat
Wrong verb form
chatting
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
others
,
Correct word choice
and communicate
show examples
communicate
Wrong verb form
communicating
show examples
with
others
by
Change preposition
via
show examples
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
.
For instance
, virtual learning, social media access, video call facility, Zoom
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
, online shopping, online banking and uploading pictures
as well as
photos are the
invention
Fix the agreement mistake
inventions
show examples
of the
Internet
;
people
get all these facilities and their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
are
more easy
Replace the words
easier
show examples
than before days.
Hence
, the
Internet
has altered
people
's existence rapidly. In Conclusion, numerous
invention
Fix the agreement mistake
inventions
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
changed
life
more
convenient
Change the word
conveniently
show examples
than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
previous era; smartphones, and the
Internet
bring more
beneficials
Correct your spelling
benefits
to the Population in a good way like
people
can contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
others
, even if Stay in Hongdi long distances; the
Internet
provides unlimited access to humans.
Therefore
, I strongly
asree
Correct your spelling
agree
with that these changes are inevitable in
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
life
.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task and provides examples, but some points need further elaboration for clarity. Make sure to develop your main ideas more comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure, work on improving the transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This will help make your argument more coherent and easier to follow.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains an introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting a complete response.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • revolutionized
  • multifunctional
  • global connectivity
  • digital economy
  • sustainability
  • fossil fuels
  • precise gene editing
  • personalized medicine
  • carbon emissions
  • sustainable transportation
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