IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. Do you agree or disagree?

#libraries #waste #money #computer #technology #functions
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In the modern revolution, some people claim that keeping public
libraries
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 is a waste of a lot of
money
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instead
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 of using technology from the
computer
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 that can have all the functions of
libraries
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 and the online
library
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 can totally switch to the traditional
library
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.
Although
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 traditional
libraries
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 are a good culture in our lives, modern computers become the best choice for “bookworms” to explore knowledge
while
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 still saving
money
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. First of all, the most important thing in maintaining traditional
libraries
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 is investing
money
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 to preserve
books
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.
That is
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 not easy work because a book needs many steps to avoid
mold
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mould
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 or termites.
However
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, it takes a big loan to do, and that has to be preserved every time.
For example
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, Ta Quang Buu
Library
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- a famous
library
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 in Vietnam, they were made an economic report and they saw that the cost of preserving
books
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, and documents is bigger than their income by 5-8%.
Instead
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 of
this
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, If we operate the online
library
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, documents will be saved in the database and only need the low cost to maintain the system.
Besides
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 that, a traditional
library
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 needs some
labor
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labour
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 to manage and transport
books
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.
For instance
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, a standard
library
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 will need 5-6
laborers
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labourers
show examples
 to ensure something
such
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 as security, preservation, and accounting. With computers, we only need 1-2 people to operate. From that, maintaining a traditional
library
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 will waste
money
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 and labor and it is not necessary if we have the technology to make an online
library
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.
On the other hand
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, computers can completely respond to more features than traditional
libraries
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.
Moreover
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, the
computer
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 is always more convenient than a big
library
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, we only need a
computer
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 or some technology to access
books
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 everywhere. In America, there is a website called Waka, If we want to read a book, we will only use a
computer
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, smartphone, or laptop.
This
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 website has many features
such
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 as searching for information in documents and listening to audio which a traditional
library
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 never has. In conclusion, the traditional
library
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 in the present day is not necessary and is a waste of
money
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, we only operate an online
library
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 to use all of the convenient functions.
Submitted by dohuyhoang on

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task achievement
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which is great. However, try to enrich your arguments and provide more specific examples to strengthen them further.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is mostly well-organized, but there are a few minor issues with the flow of information. Try to ensure that each idea transitions smoothly to the next.
task achievement
The introduction and conclusion are effectively articulated, providing a rounded discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure, guiding the reader through your arguments effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of books
  • promoting literacy
  • community engagement
  • equal access to information
  • digital divide
  • accessibility issues
  • personalized assistance
  • educational programs
  • cultural events
  • safe spaces
  • community meetings
  • tactile experience
  • preserving historical documents
  • important cultural repositories
  • fostering a sense of community
  • communal hubs
  • serene and focused environment
  • conducive to study and reflection
  • irreplaceable value
  • distracted environment
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