Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #health #responsibility #government

There has been ongoing debate regarding public

health

. Some consider

this

as the duty of the authorities,

while

others think

people

should undertake the

health

issue on their own.

This

essay will explore both sides before arriving at a conclusion. In

this

neoliberal world,

people

are allowed to achieve everything in

this

society.

However

, it is still essential for the populace to obtain assistance from the

government

. What is obvious is that medical welfare is the most common part supported by the

government

. One advantage of the

government

holding the responsibility for public

health

is that the directed order can be more efficient. Once a satisfactory

health

policy is published by the ruler, it can greatly benefit the population of a country.

On the other hand

, the decision solely made by the authorities may be not able to cover all the details of the

people

living in the country. It is widely agreed that individuals should take responsibility for

health

issues by themselves because the policy made by the

government

cannot be comprehensive sometimes. In some countries in Asia, there are plenty of

people

who believe in various religions.

Although

the

government

proposes some manners to avoid illness, it is still effortless to help the

people

without complete consideration.

On the contrary

, if

people

could develop suitable methods for their culture, it could address public

health

problems notably. In conclusion, it is evident that it is not enough for the

government

to deal with

health

issues alone. I believe that every individual should be responsible for public

health

Submitted by seanlin12345 on Sat Dec 02 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a rudimentary logical structure; however, transitions between ideas could be smoother, and linking phrases could be used more effectively to guide the reader through the points being made. To improve, consider carefully planning the progression of ideas, using a variety of cohesive devices to better connect sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

Regarding task achievement, while you do address the prompt, the ideas presented require further development and elaboration to fully satisfy the task. Concrete examples to support your claims are scarce, which hinders the essay's persuasiveness. Strive for more detailed explanations and the inclusion of specific, relevant examples to enhance your argument and effectively fulfill the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Public health
Government responsibility
Individual responsibility
Vaccination programs
Anti-smoking campaigns
Subsidized medical services
Healthcare accessibility
Socioeconomic status
Food safety regulations
Pollution control
Occupational safety
Lifestyle choices
Self-education
Proactive management
Personalized healthcare
Comprehensive health system

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

9
band
Write a letter to the company that sold you the item. In the letter: give details about the order you made explain what was wrong with the item tell the company what you want them to do about it Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,
Last Monday I ordered a cover for my HTC phone from your eCommerce website. I was excited when it arrived but very disappointed to find that the product was not as promised and totally unusable. I am hoping you will replace it.
4.5
band
some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. write at least 250 words
In contemporary era, technology improves rapidly. That is why people spend their times on technological devices, such as smartphones. Although it is common to used by every age groups, children are more likely to waste their time on smartphones. I firmly believe that, even though it is harmful for children’s socialization and development with the explosion of technology globally kids tend to spend their time online
6
band
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
There is no denying the fact that having a good place to live is crucial as a human need. While it is a commonly held belief that owning your own house is very important rather than renting one, there is also an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that possessing your own assets is much better than renting a place to live.
6
band
Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. Agree or disagree.
It would be argued that prison is the popular way in most countries to deal with crime. Nevertheless, the provision of a better education can be taken into consideration to solve this problem. From my perspective, jail can be maintained as the main measure and a better education should be taken into account to lower the crime rates.
5
band
The movement of people from agriculture areas to big cites has caused many problems at both places. What are the reasons for this problem and how can it be solved.
In recent years, there has been a shift in population from the agricultural regions to the metropolitan areas, posing huge challenges to both places. This essay will shed lights on the possible reasons for such trend, and discuss the potential solutions for this matter.

Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. write at least 250 words

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. Agree or disagree.

The movement of people from agriculture areas to big cites has caused many problems at both places. What are the reasons for this problem and how can it be solved.