Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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There has been ongoing debate regarding public

health

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. Some consider

this

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as the duty of the authorities,

while

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others think

people

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should undertake the

health

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issue on their own.

This

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essay will explore both sides before arriving at a conclusion. In

this

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neoliberal world,

people

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are allowed to achieve everything in

this

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society.

However

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, it is still essential for the populace to obtain assistance from the

government

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. What is obvious is that medical welfare is the most common part supported by the

government

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. One advantage of the

government

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holding the responsibility for public

health

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is that the directed order can be more efficient. Once a satisfactory

health

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policy is published by the ruler, it can greatly benefit the population of a country.

On the other hand

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, the decision solely made by the authorities may be not able to cover all the details of the

people

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living in the country. It is widely agreed that individuals should take responsibility for

health

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issues by themselves because the policy made by the

government

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cannot be comprehensive sometimes. In some countries in Asia, there are plenty of

people

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who believe in various religions.

Although

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the

government

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proposes some manners to avoid illness, it is still effortless to help the

people

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without complete consideration.

On the contrary

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, if

people

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could develop suitable methods for their culture, it could address public

health

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problems notably. In conclusion, it is evident that it is not enough for the

government

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to deal with

health

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issues alone. I believe that every individual should be responsible for public

health

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seanlin12345Sat Dec 02 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a rudimentary logical structure; however, transitions between ideas could be smoother, and linking phrases could be used more effectively to guide the reader through the points being made. To improve, consider carefully planning the progression of ideas, using a variety of cohesive devices to better connect sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

Regarding task achievement, while you do address the prompt, the ideas presented require further development and elaboration to fully satisfy the task. Concrete examples to support your claims are scarce, which hinders the essay's persuasiveness. Strive for more detailed explanations and the inclusion of specific, relevant examples to enhance your argument and effectively fulfill the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Public health
Government responsibility
Individual responsibility
Vaccination programs
Anti-smoking campaigns
Subsidized medical services
Healthcare accessibility
Socioeconomic status
Food safety regulations
Pollution control
Occupational safety
Lifestyle choices
Self-education
Proactive management
Personalized healthcare
Comprehensive health system

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Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Advertising has become part of everyone’s life. Some people say that advertising has a positive impact on our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the Internet. What potential problems may this trend lead to? What solutions can you suggest to deal with it?

Many museums charge for admission, while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages?