Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories, and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree?

It is a common belief that large
companies
,
factories
, and their
employees
are many main
reasons
causing
traffic
and housing issues.
Therefore
, moving these buildings to the
countryside
is a solution to deal with those
problems
. In my perspective, I firmly support
this
idea for several
reasons
which will be discussed below.
To begin
with, in terms of
traffic
problems
, the changed position of large
companies
,
factories
, and their
employees
may solve these issues effectively. To explain, these factors cause the upward trend of population.
As a consequence
, the number of vehicles on the road increases gradually
as well as
induces
traffic
congestion to become worse and more common.
In addition
, the quality of public transportation may go down dramatically because of the increased number of residents who use these transports.
Thus
, the governments may suffer financial pressure. For these
reasons
, moving these
companies
, and
factories
to the
countryside
is a good solution to reduce
traffic
congestion
as well as
release financial pressure on the governments. Another point worth mentioning is that housing
problems
are
also
solved by moving these
factories
, and large corporations with their
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
force to the
countryside
.
Firstly
, the high level of population can cause a lack of accommodation in certain areas. To explain, if the
employees
buy a house, it will be convenient for them to come to their work area so
this
will foster demands of buying
houses
.
This
is because there are more
houses
bought by
employees
from
companies
, and
factories
,
Moreover
,
this
leads to the upward trend of prices of
houses
. They become excessively expensive for residents to buy. For these
reasons
, large businesses,
factories
, and their
employees
should be moved to the
countryside
to solve the financial
problems
of
houses
and the lack of housing accommodations. In conclusion, the modification of the position of large
companies
, industries area, and their
employees
is extremely essential to solving some
traffic
and housing issues.
Thus
, I strongly support
this
idea
due to
its advantages.
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task achievement
The essay provides a clear response to the topic, addressing both traffic and housing problems. However, more specific examples and data could enhance the argument. Try to include real-world instances or hypothetical situations that illustrate your points clearly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly presents the main idea, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the argument. However, the essay would benefit from smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Use transitional words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments seamlessly.
task achievement
While the main points are supported, they could be expanded with more detailed explanations and additional evidence. This would make your argument more compelling and complete.
coherence cohesion
Consider breaking down complex sentences to improve readability and ensure that each sentence focuses on a single idea. This will make your essay easier to follow and more coherent.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in presenting the argument in an organized manner.
task achievement
The writer has clearly stated their perspective and provided reasons to support their position. This shows a good understanding of the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • housing problems
  • countryside
  • large companies
  • factories
  • employees
  • urban areas
  • land availability
  • relocate
  • stimulate economic development
  • challenges
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • rural areas
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