Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories, and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree?
It is a common belief that large
companies
, factories
, and their employees
are many main reasons
causing traffic
and housing issues. Therefore
, moving these buildings to the countryside
is a solution to deal with those problems
. In my perspective, I firmly support this
idea for several reasons
which will be discussed below.
To begin
with, in terms of traffic
problems
, the changed position of large companies
, factories
, and their employees
may solve these issues effectively. To explain, these factors cause the upward trend of population. As a consequence
, the number of vehicles on the road increases gradually as well as
induces traffic
congestion to become worse and more common. In addition
, the quality of public transportation may go down dramatically because of the increased number of residents who use these transports. Thus
, the governments may suffer financial pressure.
For these reasons
, moving these companies
, and factories
to the countryside
is a good solution to reduce traffic
congestion as well as
release financial pressure on the governments.
Another point worth mentioning is that housing problems
are also
solved by moving these factories
, and large corporations with their labor
force to the Change the spelling
labour
countryside
. Firstly
, the high level of population can cause a lack of accommodation in certain areas. To explain, if the employees
buy a house, it will be convenient for them to come to their work area so this
will foster demands of buying houses
. This
is because there are more houses
bought by employees
from companies
, and factories
, Moreover
, this
leads to the upward trend of prices of houses
. They become excessively expensive for residents to buy. For these reasons
, large businesses, factories
, and their employees
should be moved to the countryside
to solve the financial problems
of houses
and the lack of housing accommodations.
In conclusion, the modification of the position of large companies
, industries area, and their employees
is extremely essential to solving some traffic
and housing issues. Thus
, I strongly support this
idea due to
its advantages.Submitted by [email protected]
on
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task achievement
The essay provides a clear response to the topic, addressing both traffic and housing problems. However, more specific examples and data could enhance the argument. Try to include real-world instances or hypothetical situations that illustrate your points clearly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly presents the main idea, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the argument. However, the essay would benefit from smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Use transitional words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments seamlessly.
task achievement
While the main points are supported, they could be expanded with more detailed explanations and additional evidence. This would make your argument more compelling and complete.
coherence cohesion
Consider breaking down complex sentences to improve readability and ensure that each sentence focuses on a single idea. This will make your essay easier to follow and more coherent.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in presenting the argument in an organized manner.
task achievement
The writer has clearly stated their perspective and provided reasons to support their position. This shows a good understanding of the task.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example