Both men and woman care more about their appearance today than they did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Today, males and females are more concerned about their looks than in the past, the essay will agree because the statement showed me something about my reality and something I see every day.

This

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is unfortunately sad, our society changing, and sometimes people change to be better sometimes not, one of the bad things that changing badly is concern about looks, and it’s horrible because it is not something we can choose, I know many people who did not accept their look and try to change it every day and

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makes them lose confidence in themselves, In Oxford University research, it was found that most people who suffer from communication problems are the same who are concerned about their appearance. But that happened? With time we began to appreciate beauty,

however

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, we did not know the limit, and we misunderstood the meaning of beauty, we started asking about beauty in everything, that really bad, and now we do not know anything about the stranger,

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, we judge him by his appearance. Even if he is a good person we will hate him because of his looks. So, women and men need to change

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and be more accepting of their looks because it will be helpful to them in many ways, one of these ways is to pay attention to their personalities more and develop our thoughts to be better, I know that person how has really normal look but the special about him is his personality,

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what we suppose to care about.

Submitted by ahmedaziz9811 on Wed Jul 17 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on creating a more structured and clear introduction that effectively outlines your main points. The current introduction is somewhat vague and doesn't fully set the stage for the essay.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to logically organize your paragraphs and provide smooth transitions between ideas. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily. For example, introducing topic sentences can guide the reader through your arguments.

task achievement

Provide more concrete examples and evidence to support your points. General statements could benefit from specific examples or data to make your arguments stronger and more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and sticks to it. Avoid repeating similar points or drifting off-topic to maintain a concise and coherent argument.

task achievement

The essay addresses the topic directly and provides some insightful observations about societal changes and perceptions of beauty.

task achievement

You have shown awareness of the issue and made some good points about the negative impacts of being overly concerned with appearance on self-confidence and social judgments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

2
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

social media platforms
beauty and personal care industry
societal norms
health and fitness
celebrity culture
technology advancements
cosmetic surgery
dermatology treatments
mental health awareness
self-esteem

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Both men and woman care more about their appearance today than they did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

At present the population of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer with relevant example.

In some countries the average weight to people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve the problem?