IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreing language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Each year, a lot of
people
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 migrate to other countries for several reasons.
Although
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 there are many opportunities for these individuals, I agree to some extent that sometimes many
people
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 are faced with major social and practical
problems
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. On the one hand, living in a country that forces us to speak
in
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apply
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another
language
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 has some
problems
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.
Firstly
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, it can be hard to communicate with foreign
people
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, especially if individuals do not have enough speaking skills.
For instance
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, one of my relatives said he experienced some level of depression when he went abroad to study for his PhD degree.
Secondly
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, sometimes, getting a job can be overwhelming and
maybe
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may be
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 difficult, because many
people
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 cannot successfully pass the interview because of their
language
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.
Lastly
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, raising a child in a different region with a different culture and
language
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 is an extremely challenging job. Despite all of these issues, I believe because of the advancement of technology, they are not significant
problems
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 these days,
although
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 they exist.
On the other hand
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, in the contemporary world, with the rapid growth of technology, many of the
problems
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 faced by
people
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 living abroad have been downplayed.
For example
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, in the past, it was really tough to learn a
language
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 and write in another
language
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 without any facilities.
However
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, today, there are a plethora of websites and applications that utilise new technologies
such
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 as artificial intelligence that can help us considerably in speaking and writing.
Also
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, many companies have a multinational environment,
thus
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, foreigners can get a job easily compared to the old days. In conclusion, to some extent, I agree with
this
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 notion that living in a country that makes us speak a foreign
language
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 has some social and practical challenges.

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task response
Your task response effectively addresses the prompt. However, it would be beneficial to delve deeper into the extent to which you agree or disagree. Providing a more nuanced stance or considering additional aspects could strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, while your essay is generally well-structured and the ideas flow logically, occasionally the transitions between points could be smoother. Using more connective phrases or breaking down some longer sentences may aid readability.
task response
Including more specific examples and elaborating on them will strengthen your essay. Personal anecdotes are useful, but diversifying sources of examples can make your argument more robust.
task response
Your introduction clearly sets the stage for your essay and provides a clear thesis statement, outlining the direction of your argument.
task response
The use of personal experience adds a relatable and authentic touch to your essay.
coherence and cohesion
You effectively mention the role of technology in easing some of the language barriers, which showcases a modern and relevant perspective.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
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