Some people think that the computer and the Internet are important in children's studies, but others think that students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In our contemporary era,resources and information appear to be easily acquired by means of the Internet.A plethora of people,including me,believe the Internet plays a pivotal element in learning
due to
the feasible prospects it provides
such
as flexibility of
time
to study and availability of any resources.
However
,others believe schools are solely enough for children's educational progress. Owing to,recent continuous improvements being made in technology,
this
enables juveniles to possess all the data under their control.Chat GPT,
for instance
,is an app developed which functions as a search motor and gives elaborate information in any way desired.Having
this
type of programme leads minors to consult anything frequently regardless of the location and
time
.
Apart from
this
convenience,
time
of study sessions might be arranged easily as there are no worries about teachers who tend to arrive late or the specific interval of school starting and ending schedule.
Therefore
,young individuals have the chance to start their studies whenever they feel ready.
On the other hand
,there are some demerits of distance learning.
To begin
with,children could abuse the power of the Internet by making their homework assignments via these gadgets.If their teacher sees that the assignment given to them is not done by their efforts,they will eventually feel worthless.
Therefore
,not exacerbating teachers' mental health and sanity, does not seem a good way.
Moreover
,in schools,most students are able to comprehend topics facilitated
due to
exposure to other students,provided by interactive learning.In
this
way,data might have stayed in their mind for a longer period of
time
,or even forever. In many cases,based on what some experts imply online learning on its own would not be adequate.Extracurricular of juveniles may be restricted in their social life and,perhaps,will be part partially avoided. In conclusion,I ought to give credit to online learning since it has more dominant pros and minors can reap the benefits on a larger scale.
Although
distance learning is much more beneficial,I think without any educational institutes like schools,it is inclined to be deleterious for
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
mental and physical health.
Submitted by kabzop on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your essay addresses both sides of the argument effectively, ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single idea. Some sentences seem rushed and don't provide enough specific supporting examples. For instance, when discussing ChatGPT, you could give more detailed examples of how it aids in studies.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to small language inaccuracies such as missing spaces after commas, unnecessary capitalization, and awkward word choices. These can sometimes detract from the overall clarity and coherence of your writing. Proofreading helps catch such mistakes.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion and clearly states your view.
task achievement
You made a good attempt to discuss both views fairly. This balanced approach strengthens your argument and enriches your essay.
coherence cohesion
The concluding paragraph effectively summarizes the arguments and reiterates your own stance, which brings the essay to a cohesive end.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: