IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You are getting married. Write a letter to an English speaking friend to invite him/her to wedding. In your letter

#english #friend
Dear Raiden Shogun I want to invite you to my sisters wedding at the Mondstadt city. Today at 17:00 o'clock we will be please to see at
this
 competition. First of all at
this
 ceremony, of my sister Jean and her groom Kaeya, will be all civilians of Modstadt city and a several special guests like: Bennet, Lisa, Amber, Diluc, Noelle, Venti, Klee and Mona.
Also
 we invited a really special guest for you. It's your ex-son Scaramouche. We hope that you two will
finally
 measure up. At
this
 special day will be a lot of fun things like: games, arts, street foods and games. Basically
this
 events pale in comparison to the main, the wedding ceremony. The city decorated by a lot of roses, just like Jean prefers, and a lot of anime figures, just like Kaeya. In the same way, there will be a dance floor where you can show us your dancing skills.
At the end
 of wedding everybody will eat a biggest cake that ever made.
Overall
, i really want to see you at my sisters special day of her life.
Also
 you will see your son with his girlfriend Mona. I hope that you will love her, because she is really pretty and clever girl, your son is good with girls. Best wishes Barbara
Submitted by nigora1629 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that the overall structure of your letter is clear and logical. Although your letter has a general flow, it can sometimes feel disjointed with sudden jumps between ideas. Try to introduce your ideas in a more organized manner, leading the reader smoothly from one point to the next.
Include a greeting at the beginning and a closing at the end of your letter to make it more personal and engaging. You started well with 'Dear Raiden Shogun,' but try to wrap up your letter with a more personalized closing, such as 'Looking forward to seeing you' or 'Yours sincerely, [Your Name].','type':'coherence_cohesion
coherence cohesion
While your letter covers a range of activities and guests expected at the wedding, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single theme or idea. This will make your writing clearer and more cohesive. For instance, one paragraph can specifically describe the ceremony, another the entertainment, and so on.
task achievement
Focus on fully addressing the prompt given. You've included an invitation to the wedding, described the event, and mentioned guests, which is good. However, including more about why it's meaningful for the recipient to attend or personal messages can enhance task response.
task achievement
Adopt a suitable tone for the intended audience and purpose of the letter. Since it's an invitation to a close friend for a significant personal event, a warmer, more personal tone would be appropriate. Avoid overly formal or distant language; instead, include expressions of excitement and personal touches that share your feelings about the event.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: