Some people believe the government should invest more money to help tourism development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.
It is true that
tourism
plays an important role in countries or local communities. Some people think governments
should spend more money
on the development of tourism
. I completely agree with this
argument for several reasons.
On the one hand, governments
should provide tourism
with more investment because it can improve the domestic economy. Firstly
, the development of tourism
can help domestic industries make a big profit. With the popularity of local tourism
, more visitors are attracted, and they will purchase many local products and souvenirs. At the same time, developing tourism
can support other required areas. Governments
can earn more tax income because of the success of tourism
, and they will have sufficient money
to help required areas, such
as education and infrastructures
. Fix the agreement mistake
infrastructure
For example
, the Thai government invests a lot of money
to develop domestic tourism
, and they spend the
part of Correct article usage
apply
tourism
earnings on building highways and schools.
On the other hand
, funding for tourism
development can promote domestic culture
. A good travelling environment will attract more foreign tourists to learn the
local Change preposition
about the
culture
and enhance the
Correct article usage
apply
culture
interaction. Replace the word
cultural
For example
, the Chinese government spend billions of dollars on tourism
during the Beijing Olympics, and this
action successfully promotes the
Chinese Correct article usage
apply
culture
to the world. Furthermore
, it is worth investing more money
in developing tourism
because it can establish a positive reputation. Foreign visitors might have a positive impression of the country because of the good experience in
Change preposition
of
traveling
.
In conclusion, it is valuable for Change the spelling
travelling
governments
to raise investments in developing tourism
because it can improve the domestic economy. Meanwhile, developed tourism
can promote local culture
and establish a positive reputation effectively.Submitted by dingjc867328784 on
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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from slightly more detailed examples and elaboration, especially on how tourism directly impacts local industries and culture.
coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider range of vocabulary and more complex sentence structures to showcase your language proficiency better.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-structured, you could improve the transitions between paragraphs to ensure a smoother flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and concise introduction and conclusion that effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
Your main points are well-supported with examples, making your argument compelling and easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are logically ordered, making it easy for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite