Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cities #health

There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over the fact that residing in megacities adversely affects the physical

health

of residents. I do not deem myself

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apply

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an advocate of

this

idea. Recent years have seen significant attention given to the environmental issues in cities that adversely affect

people

health

. The first thing I should mention is that living in urban

areas

is beneficial for

people

health

thanks to how easily accessible the medical system is in

this

day and age. To add to

this

hospitals

in urban

areas

are located everywhere in the city and

residential

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in residential

show examples

areas

, making it easy and time-saving for

people

to access whenever they need it.

For example

although

Bach Mai Hospital is very large and can provide enough services for patients, Hanoi French Hospital is still located nearby.

Hence

, easy access to

hospitals

helps patients receive faster treatment.

In contrast

, individuals residing in rural

areas

often face challenges in accessing

hospitals

due to

their remote locations.

People

frequently must travel long distances to receive medical treatment, leading to critical delays in emergency situations.

For instance

, those living in mountainous regions may spend days

traveling

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travelling

show examples

to reach medical facilities,

whereas

cities boast numerous

hospitals

that provide daily high-quality medical care.

Consequently

, accessing

hospitals

in rural

areas

is hindered by their distant placement from residential

areas

To sum up

, living in big cities does not bring negative

health

effects but helps

people

prioritize their

health

, thanks to the accessibility and advanced infrastructure of urban

hospitals

Submitted by hominhtrang995 on Sun Jul 14 2024

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task achievement

Try to develop more counterarguments or different perspectives to ensure a balanced discussion. This will show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Ensure seamless transitions between paragraphs and sentences to improve overall flow and coherence.

task achievement

Your essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas that directly address the topic. This demonstrates a strong understanding of the theme.

task achievement

You provided relevant and specific examples, such as the mention of Bach Mai Hospital and Hanoi French Hospital, which strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This helps the reader follow your arguments easily.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

respiratory problems
population density
stress levels
mental health issues
sedentary lifestyles
healthcare facilities
cardiovascular diseases
psychological well-being
recreational areas
social networks

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