More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. What are the most serious problems associated with obesity and what solutions can you suggest?

In many developed countries, an increasing number of
children
are becoming overweight, which is a serious
issue
with widespread implications. I believe exploring the causes of
this
problem can assist in finding suitable solutions to resolve it. One significant cause of childhood obesity is the rise in the consumption of unhealthy foods, which could partly account for
this
growing
issue
. Fast food, sugary drinks, and highly processed snacks are more accessible than ever and are often marketed aggressively towards young people. These foods are high in calories but low in essential nutrients, leading
children
to gain excessive weight. A potential solution is to improve
children
’s diets by ensuring that
schools
offer healthier meal options and educating both
children
and parents about balanced nutrition. By introducing healthier food choices and nutritional programs,
children
may be encouraged to make healthier choices. Another cause that could explain why childhood obesity is increasing is the decrease in physical activity among
children
. With the prevalence of technology,
children
are more inclined to spend time on screens rather than engaging in outdoor activities or sports.
This
sedentary lifestyle contributes to weight gain and negatively affects physical health. A solution to
this
issue
would be to promote physical activity within
schools
and communities.
For instance
,
schools
can offer more sports activities and facilities,
while
communities could organize events encouraging family participation in outdoor activities. These initiatives could not only help
children
stay active but
also
foster a culture of fitness and healthy living.
To conclude
, even though unhealthy diets and a sedentary lifestyle contribute to the problem of childhood obesity, parents,
schools
, and communities can play an essential role in remedying the situation. In my opinion, improving dietary options and promoting physical activity are steps in the right direction toward addressing
this
issue
effectively.
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task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the topic and maintains a clear focus throughout. Your understanding of the problem of childhood obesity is well-expressed, and you provided relevant solutions.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is clearly structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The logical progression of ideas helps in understanding your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully used connecting devices to ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs, which enhances readability.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • heart disease
  • asthma
  • psychological impact
  • self-esteem
  • bullying
  • depression
  • nutrition
  • balanced diet
  • physical activity
  • healthcare costs
  • economic consequences
  • parental involvement
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