More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. What are the most serious problems associated with obesity and what solutions can you suggest?

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In many developed countries, an increasing number of
children
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are becoming overweight, which is a serious
issue
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with widespread implications. I believe exploring the causes of
this
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problem can assist in finding suitable solutions to resolve it. One significant cause of childhood obesity is the rise in the consumption of unhealthy foods, which could partly account for
this
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growing
issue
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. Fast food, sugary drinks, and highly processed snacks are more accessible than ever and are often marketed aggressively towards young people. These foods are high in calories but low in essential nutrients, leading
children
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to gain excessive weight. A potential solution is to improve
children
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’s diets by ensuring that
schools
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offer healthier meal options and educating both
children
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and parents about balanced nutrition. By introducing healthier food choices and nutritional programs,
children
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may be encouraged to make healthier choices. Another cause that could explain why childhood obesity is increasing is the decrease in physical activity among
children
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. With the prevalence of technology,
children
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are more inclined to spend time on screens rather than engaging in outdoor activities or sports.
This
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sedentary lifestyle contributes to weight gain and negatively affects physical health. A solution to
this
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issue
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would be to promote physical activity within
schools
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and communities.
For instance
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,
schools
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can offer more sports activities and facilities,
while
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communities could organize events encouraging family participation in outdoor activities. These initiatives could not only help
children
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stay active but
also
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foster a culture of fitness and healthy living.
To conclude
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, even though unhealthy diets and a sedentary lifestyle contribute to the problem of childhood obesity, parents,
schools
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, and communities can play an essential role in remedying the situation. In my opinion, improving dietary options and promoting physical activity are steps in the right direction toward addressing
this
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issue
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effectively.
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task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the topic and maintains a clear focus throughout. Your understanding of the problem of childhood obesity is well-expressed, and you provided relevant solutions.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is clearly structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The logical progression of ideas helps in understanding your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully used connecting devices to ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs, which enhances readability.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • heart disease
  • asthma
  • psychological impact
  • self-esteem
  • bullying
  • depression
  • nutrition
  • balanced diet
  • physical activity
  • healthcare costs
  • economic consequences
  • parental involvement
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