Students should be completely free to choose whether to study or play games. They should be allowed to manage their own time. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.
With the advent of advanced technology, computer games have become so captivating that our future pillars are often driven to be obsessed with them at the expense of academics.
This
has sparked a hot heated debate over whether students should be granted complete autonomy to arrange their schedules. Linking Words
However
, I cannot entirely agree with the idea that Linking Words
parents
should deprive their Use synonyms
children
of the freedom to manage their own Use synonyms
time
.
Use synonyms
First,
Linking Words
time
management is a vital skill for Use synonyms
children
to succeed in the future. Allowing them to allocate their Use synonyms
time
after school is a valuable practice to master Use synonyms
this
skill. When they fail an exam, they will understand that they need to allocate more Linking Words
time
to Use synonyms
study
rather than Use synonyms
playing
games next Wrong verb form
play
time
. Use synonyms
On the contrary
, if they follow a Linking Words
study
schedule constructed by their Use synonyms
parents
and fail an exam, they may only blame their Use synonyms
parents
Use synonyms
instead
of reflecting on their own actions. It is widely believed that learning through the consequences and rewards is more effective than just being told.
Despite the fact that excelling in academics is the responsibility of the student, not their Linking Words
parents
, some argue that Use synonyms
children
are not mature enough to structure their own schedules and Use synonyms
thus
Linking Words
parents
should intervene in their Use synonyms
study
plans. Use synonyms
However
, some Linking Words
parents
, who often understate the importance of leisure Use synonyms
time
, are unable to create the best timetable. In some Asian countries Use synonyms
such
as China and South Korea, helicopter Linking Words
parents
often schedule overwhelming Use synonyms
study
plans for Use synonyms
the
Change the word
their
children
, resulting in a stressful childhood, which is Use synonyms
also
a factor contributing to the high juvenile suicide rate in these countries. Linking Words
Therefore
, I believe that youngsters should have the freedom to take Linking Words
a breaks
when needed.
For the reasons mentioned above, it seems crucial to give students autonomy in managing their Correct the article-noun agreement
a break
breaks
time
, so that they can acquire Use synonyms
time
management skills and be responsible for their actions. Meanwhile, Use synonyms
parents
should respect their Use synonyms
children
’s free will but provide guidance to Use synonyms
instill
the importance of Change the spelling
instil
Use synonyms
study
for the betterment of their Wrong verb form
studying
children
.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear response to the task with well-defined reasons and examples. However, to achieve a higher score, further enhance the relevance of your examples and make the argument even more compelling.
coherence cohesion
While your essay's structure is logical and easy to follow, consider reinforcing the connections between paragraphs with clearer transitional phrases to enhance coherence further.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a cohesive structure to your essay.
task achievement
The essay showcases clear, comprehensive ideas addressing the topic effectively.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example