You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: People shouldbe at least 21 years old before they are allowed to drive a car. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
It is widely believed that young people, especially those under 21, are more prone to causing accidents.
Consequently
, many argue that they should not be legally permitted to drive
until they turn 21. In my opinion, completely prohibiting young adults from driving is not the solution; rather, they should be allowed to drive
under specific conditions. This
essay will discuss the potential hazards when late teenagers are permitted to drive
and the possible benefits of allowing them to drive
under certain restrictions.
To begin
with, one of the primary issues when young people drive
is intoxicated driving, which has consequently
led to numerous road traffic
collisions and fatalities. This
has resulted not only in casualties among car passengers but also
in many pedestrian deaths. Additionally
, young people of that age tend to flout traffic
regulations, with speeding being the most prevalent infraction. The reasons for speeding vary, but it is often due to
peer pressure or the desire to impress their peers.
While
it is true that certain younger drivers disregard traffic
rules, it would be unjust to deny all young individuals the opportunity to drive
. In fact, allowing them to drive
could yield several benefits. Firstly
, they may use the car to commute to college, especially if they reside in remote areas with inadequate public transportation connectivity. This
enables students to reach their institutions punctually and, in some cases, helps them economize. Moreover
, another advantage arises when a young person lives with elderly relatives who are incapacitated. In the event of an illness, the grandchild could transport them to the hospital without losing precious time.
The solution to this
issue, in my view, involves government intervention through the implementation of stringent road laws and regulations. For instance
, restricting young adults from driving on busy motorways, conducting frequent checks by the traffic
police for substance abuse, and temporarily suspending driving licenses for traffic
violations could be effective measures.
In conclusion, while
there are inherent risks associated with allowing young individuals to drive
, there are also
significant advantages to permitting them to drive
under special conditions and restrictions. By instituting stricter regulations, we can ensure safer roads while
still providing young drivers with the necessary mobility.Submitted by davidksimson on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical flow and structure with clear progression of ideas. Nonetheless, ensure the transitions between paragraphs are smoother to enhance the overall coherence. For instance, explicitly referencing previous points when starting a new paragraph would help tie the ideas together more effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed the task requirements adequately with a complete response and provided a balanced discussion. To further improve, consider including additional relevant examples or statistics to strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
Expanding on the benefits slightly more could provide a better balance between the pros and cons discussed in the essay. This would show a more comprehensive evaluation of both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main points well. The reader is provided with a clear framework of what to expect and a satisfactory summary of the discussion.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with explanations, and your reasoning is easy to follow. The inclusion of practical examples, such as students commuting to college or helping elderly relatives, illustrates your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph is well-developed and focuses on a single idea or aspect of the topic, which adds to the clarity and cohesiveness of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.