Some people who have been in prison becomes good citizens later,and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to tenagers about the dangers of committing a crime .To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some
people
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think that former prisoners can help
teenagers
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understand the dangers of crime. I agree with
this
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idea to some extent.
First,
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people
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who were in prison know how hard life is there. They have real stories and experiences. When they talk to
teenagers
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, they can explain what happens when someone breaks the law.
Teenagers
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may listen more because these
people
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have lived through it.
For example
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, a person who was in jail can talk about losing freedom, being away from family, and how difficult it is to start a new life.
This
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can be a strong message for young
people
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.
However
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, not all ex-prisoners are good examples. Some may still have bad habits or wrong thinking. If a teenager listens to the wrong person, it could be dangerous.
Also
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, not every ex-prisoner wants to help. Some may not feel comfortable talking about their past. Schools and parents
also
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play a big role. Teachers can give good lessons about laws and respect. Parents can teach children what is right and wrong. So, former prisoners can help, but they should not be the only ones talking to
teenagers
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. In conclusion, I believe that some ex-prisoners can be helpful in teaching
teenagers
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about crime. But we must choose the right
people
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and
also
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use support from schools and families.

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task achievement
Expand on your ideas, providing more nuanced arguments or examples to support your viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that all points are logically connected and develop a more cohesive flow between paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and some relevant arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The language is straightforward and easy to understand, which contributes positively to overall clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rehabilitation
  • consequences
  • authenticity
  • impact
  • societal issues
  • stigma
  • redemption
  • dialogue
  • empathy
  • communication skills
  • at-risk youth
  • positive alternatives
  • underlying reasons
  • community responsibility
  • personal experiences
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