IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that one on one lessons are better for learning while others think that group lessons are more effective

#people #lessons #group
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A number of individuals think that
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
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 conversation is good for learning
however
 others prefer that it is useful to study with many
people
. In
this
 essay, I agree with the former,
while
  I want to tell the other side as well.    On the one hand, loneliness requires more results for a person, and a person does not rely on others because he is alone. Even when a
student
 does not achieve results, they do not blame the teacher or other students who were not taught many lessons when the students did not come to class.
on the contrary
, he starts looking for the fault himself and finds a solution to everything.     
Additionally
,if the teacher and the
student
 are alone, and teaching together, the result can be achieved earlier than expected. Because the teacher pays all his attention to his
student
 and spends a lot of time with his
student
.A clear example of
this
 is the
people
 who, during my lifetime, have achieved 2x results by studying alone.   
On the other hand
,
firstly
, it is much better to teach through many
people
. Because there are many exchanges of ideas. Asking for help from others when you don't understand, or helping those who don't understand when you understand, can increase our understanding up to 2x.  
Secondly
, Many skills can be developed through group members.
For example
: when learning a new language, we learn teamwork, get feedback for mistakes, or improve our speaking by talking more.   In conclusion, both sides
worth
Add a missing verb
are worth
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to discuss
Change the verb form
discussing
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 as they are useful for our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. But
People
 should decide for themselves what situation is convenient for them and what is suitable for them. but it is not good to stay away from
people
, you need friends to improve your knowledge, and self-study is even better. Only if everyone is careful.
Submitted by shakhzod0905 on

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coherence
To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph focuses on a single clear point. This will help in maintaining a logical structure throughout the essay.
cohesion
Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the main points discussed and clearly stating your final opinion. This helps in giving the essay a sense of closure.
task achievement
Enhance your support for the main points with more specific examples or evidence; this will make your arguments stronger and more compelling.
task achievement
You have addressed both perspectives, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the task requirements.
cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, contributing to the overall cohesion.
coherence
You have demonstrated a good grasp of how to structure an essay with distinct paragraphs for different points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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