IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You recently went on a sightseeing tour which you did not enjoy. Write a letter to the manager of the tour company. In your letter: explain why you chose that particular tour explain what you did not like about the tour suggest two ways in which the tour could be improved

#tour #manager #company #two
Dear Sir,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am Rajwant Singh, one of your regular customers because of your impeccable tour packages. Recently, I went on a tour to the Maldives with my wife on July 1st through your company. Since it was our fifth marriage anniversary, I was extremely excited for
this
 tour, to my dismay, my experience was so unpleasant and terrible.
Firstly
, some of the sightseeing and hotels were not the same as what your TripAdvisor described. Even though the package mentioned a five-star hotel with meals included, we were still required to stay in a nearby townhouse and pay for our lunch and dinner.r. To add more grief, when I reached you by call, the behaviour of your customer service representative was
also
 unprofessional towards us. Being a manager, I would suggest you take certain stringent yardsticks to resolve
this
 kind of issue. First of all, your focus should be on your client's satisfaction and enjoyment, not on promoting sales by providing false information.
Second,
because rudeness can damage the reputation of your business, your customer service agents need to be more polite to customers. Hope you will investigate
this
 matter closely. Yours sincerely, Raj
Submitted by rajwants.1997 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

suitable writing tone
Ensure that you use a polite and professional tone consistently throughout the letter.
complete response
Make sure to proofread for minor grammatical errors, such as capitalization and punctuation mistakes.
single idea per paragraph
Organize your letter into clear, well-structured paragraphs with a single idea per paragraph.
complete response
The letter effectively explains why the tour was chosen and what was not liked about it.
task achievement
The letter suggests constructive ways to improve the tour.
greeting and closing
The greeting and closing are appropriately used.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: