Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In
this
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cutting-edge era,
data
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from smartphones plays a significant role in every aspect. Some believe that
authorities
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should have
access
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to these
data
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from mobile calls and messages for public safety and
security
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,
while
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others believe that it is a violation of
privacy
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and civil liberties. I believe a more nuanced approach is necessary.
To begin
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with, proponents of providing
access
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to the
government
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for
data
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have a few benefits,
such
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as the fact
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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government
Change noun form
government's
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abilities
Fix the agreement mistake
ability
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to enhance public safety and
security
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,
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apply
show examples
and prevent terrorism and criminal activities within the country.
Additionally
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,
access
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to
data
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will be helpful in criminal investigations and prosecutions.
For instance
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, in many criminal investigations,
due to
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a lack of evidence, most of the cases are still pending or have been produced with an unfair
judgement
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judgment
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.
Hence
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,
access
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to mobile phone call records and messages of
citizens
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can ensure national
security
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and protect
citizens
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.
On the contrary
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, providing
access
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to the
government
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also
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has its downsides,
such
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as a violation of
privacy
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and civil liberties, and the potential of
data
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being misused and abused by
government
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authorities
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.
For instance
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, the possibility of
data
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breaches and leaks as the
authorities
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would have
access
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to all the sensitive personal information.
Consequently
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, possibilities of limiting freedom of speech, or using
data
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for political gain by manipulating public opinions or swaying elections.
Hence
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, there is a potential for erosion of trust and a chilling effect on free speech and communication by the
government
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. Observing both the merits and demerits, I believe a more balanced approach is necessary.
For instance
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, the balance of
security
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and
privacy
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by the
authorities
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, and the need for appropriate legal frameworks to protect
citizens
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' rights is important.
Additionally
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,
prioritises
Verb problem
apply
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ethical and
privacy
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considerations,
such
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as transparency between
citizens
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and the
government
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, consent for
data
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collection, and legal protection must be prioritized to ensure a fair and just society. In conclusion,
while
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the
access
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of
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to
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smartphone
data
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by
authorities
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for safety and
security
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has significant benefits, it
also
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raises critical concerns,
such
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as the violation of
privacy
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and civil liberties. A more balanced approach is essential, where
security
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measures are implemented alongside a strong legal framework, and ethical and
privacy
Use synonyms
considerations to protect
citizens
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' rights. Transparent, consent and legal protection must be prioritized by the
government
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.
Submitted by somynarain12 on

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task achievement
Ensure that all arguments are evenly developed. In the current essay, the examples supporting each view could be more detailed and specific. This would make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
While you provide relevant points, there could be a little more depth in some arguments. For instance, adding real-world examples or more detailed hypothetical situations can strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow between paragraphs. Although the essay is mostly well-structured, some transitions can be improved for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-framed and present a clear stance on the issue. This is crucial for a strong essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with clear main points in each paragraph. This enhances the readability and flow of your argument.
task achievement
You have effectively presented both sides of the argument and supported them with relevant points. This balance is essential in a 'discuss both views' essay type.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Surveillance
  • Civil liberties
  • Oversight
  • Intrusion
  • National security
  • Counterterrorism
  • Wiretapping
  • Data encryption
  • Privacy rights
  • Authorized access
  • Judicial oversight
  • Illegal monitoring
  • Telecommunication data
  • Personal communications
  • Unwarranted intrusion
  • Transparency
  • Accountability
  • Civilian oversight
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