IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/she has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: * Explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday * describe some possible disadvantages * say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer

#friend #holiday #first #time #summer #advice
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Shoaib, Hope you are doing great! I'm writing to share my thoughts about the camping holidays. I can see, you have been working extended hours a day for a long period of time which is why sometimes you have health issues like stress. Camping will help you to take a break from work and spend some time in nature.
This
Linking Words
 will help you observe picturesque valleys and unwind your mind.
However
Linking Words
, there are certain challenges when someone is camping.
First,
Linking Words
most toilets are not available in remote areas.
Next,
Linking Words
food is often expensive.
Then
Linking Words
, there is a lack of medical facilities, in case of emergencies.
Hence
Linking Words
, you need to handle the aforementioned dilemmas on your own. I
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 be joining you for camping because I want to spend some time with you to recreate. I really miss your company as we both have been unable to meet on a regular basis since graduation. I look forward to hearing from you at the earliest. Best wishes, Haris
Submitted by Haris Khan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To strengthen Task Achievement, delve into specific examples or personal experiences that highlight why you believe camping would be beneficial. Additionally, suggesting solutions to the disadvantages listed could make your advice more practical and constructive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your letter is well-structured, with a clear logical flow. To improve coherence and cohesion, try using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. Also, consider briefly summarizing your main points in the conclusion for a stronger wrap-up.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adventure
  • serenity
  • outdoors
  • refreshing
  • hustle and bustle
  • inherent
  • foster
  • distractions
  • cost-effective
  • unpredictable
  • wildlife
  • adequate preparation
  • physical demands
  • researching
  • campsite
  • lasting memories
  • mutual interests
What to do next:
Look at other essays: