A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/she has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: * Explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday * describe some possible disadvantages * say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer

#friend #holiday #first #time #summer #advice

Dear Shoaib, Hope you are doing great! I'm writing to share my thoughts about the camping holidays. I can see, you have been working extended hours a day for a long period of time which is why sometimes you have health issues like stress. Camping will help you to take a break from work and spend some time in nature.

This

will help you observe picturesque valleys and unwind your mind.

However

, there are certain challenges when someone is camping.

First,

most toilets are not available in remote areas.

Next,

food is often expensive.

Then

, there is a lack of medical facilities, in case of emergencies.

Hence

, you need to handle the aforementioned dilemmas on your own. I

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

be joining you for camping because I want to spend some time with you to recreate. I really miss your company as we both have been unable to meet on a regular basis since graduation. I look forward to hearing from you at the earliest. Best wishes, Haris

Submitted by Haris Khan on Tue Mar 26 2024

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Task Achievement

To strengthen Task Achievement, delve into specific examples or personal experiences that highlight why you believe camping would be beneficial. Additionally, suggesting solutions to the disadvantages listed could make your advice more practical and constructive.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your letter is well-structured, with a clear logical flow. To improve coherence and cohesion, try using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. Also, consider briefly summarizing your main points in the conclusion for a stronger wrap-up.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

167 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

adventure
serenity
outdoors
refreshing
hustle and bustle
inherent
foster
distractions
cost-effective
unpredictable
wildlife
adequate preparation
physical demands
researching
campsite
lasting memories
mutual interests

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