Successful professional athletes can earn much more than people in other important professions, such as nurses, doctors and teacher.Someone considers it quite justified, and someone considers it unfair.To what extent tdo you agree or disagree?

#athletes #people #professions #nurses #doctors #teacher #someone #tdo

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, there is a debate about

sports

and who should involved in the

sports

team. They believe if

teams

integrate with professionals,

such

as nutritionists and doctors, they will enhance their abilities. A wide range of them assume that it will benefit them.

While

others are convinced that it is a privilege for them and not all of them are able to bring professions. I strongly agree with the statement about adding a specialist. In

this

essay, I will elaborate on my viewpoint. First and foremost, A wide range of players are aware of the hazards of

sports

. They believe that someone should concentrate on their training.

In addition

, sudden injuries can happen to them, they will need first aid to alleviate the injury

then

they will be referred to a specialist. One of the sparked instances is the Danish player Errikson. He fell out during the semi-finals in the

last

Euro tournament. His hurt stopped during the game, and the doctors rescued him at the

last

moment.

Furthermore

, to be a successful athlete, you should follow a district diet.

Therefore

, a wide range of players are adding nutritionists to ameliorate their health. They are aware of their players' bodies and which diet will suit them.

Moreover

, they

also

obtain therapists. They believe they will evolve their mentality.

For instance

, when Nadal broke up with Shakira. He was stressed and tried to suicide.

However

, when he went to the therapist. He assisted him. After three months he was back and won the Webildon for the fifth time and did not surround. In conclusion, the

sports

organisation should support

teams

with subsidies.

This

can create a balance between

teams

, especially with unwealthy

teams

. The sporters should be more aware of their health, and

as a result

, they are more likely to get injured.

Submitted by mohannadsme on Fri Jul 19 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar

There are several grammatical and sentence structure errors that need attention. Focus on subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and proper sentence construction.

coherence cohesion

Make transitions between paragraphs smoother and ensure each point is thoroughly explained before moving to the next. This will make the essay more coherent and easier to follow.

task achievement

Your ideas are clear, but they'd benefit from more detailed examples and additional supporting information. Some points, like the importance of nutritionists, can be developed further.

structure

The essay has a strong and clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

Your main ideas are relevant to the topic and provide a good basis for your argument.

examples

You’ve used some specific examples which makes the essay more illustrative and engaging.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
The number of tourists visiting Malaysia and Dubai from 1995 to 2003 is presented below
The line chart depicts the number of people (in thousand) who take vacation in Malaysia and Dubai between 1995 to 2003. Overall, even though there was some fluctuate trend, both countries had the positive upward trend in the period time.
6
band
according to an international travel magazine, many tourists today fly straight to their holiday resort and almost never leave it. Unlike tourists in the 1960s and 70s they return home with no experience of local culture. Why do you think this happens? How was tourism different in the past?
To be different from the 1960s and 70s, it is a tendency nowadays that people usually go straight to their holiday destinations and choose to reside there for the length of their trip rather than spending time exploring the traditional habits of residents here. This has become a controversial topic for everyone to discuss, and from my perspective, I also declare some opinion about this phenomenon.
7.5
band
As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. What are the causes of this trend and what are the effects on society ?
As countries develop, their nations tend to live alone or in small family units. This is because of the improved quality of education and increased cost of living. However, due to this trend, the birth rate among young individuals and interactions between neighbours has decreased significantly.
4
band
Nowadays, parents put too much pressure on their children to succed. what is the reason for parents doing this? is this a positive or negetive development for the children?
Recently, parents are likely to give more and more requiries to their childen on eduacation. There are many reason for parents doing this. In my opinion, giving too much responsibilities on children has both positive and negative affects.
4.5
band
Due to the effects of globalization, the culture of some countries are influenced by others. Some people think this is a positive process. Others think this is a threat to cultural identity. Discuss both sides and give your opinion
Over the past few decades, people are increasing significantly day by day, affect to to the culture of some countries. Therefore, some people believe this is a positive methods, whilist others seems that this is a threat to culture identity. This essay will discuss both viewpoints before a conclusion is derived.

Successful professional athletes can earn much more than people in other important professions, such as nurses, doctors and teacher.Someone considers it quite justified, and someone considers it unfair.To what extent tdo you agree or disagree?

The number of tourists visiting Malaysia and Dubai from 1995 to 2003 is presented below

according to an international travel magazine, many tourists today fly straight to their holiday resort and almost never leave it. Unlike tourists in the 1960s and 70s they return home with no experience of local culture. Why do you think this happens? How was tourism different in the past?

As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. What are the causes of this trend and what are the effects on society ?

Nowadays, parents put too much pressure on their children to succed. what is the reason for parents doing this? is this a positive or negetive development for the children?

Due to the effects of globalization, the culture of some countries are influenced by others. Some people think this is a positive process. Others think this is a threat to cultural identity. Discuss both sides and give your opinion