Some people think that using traditions as attractions for money-making will destroy our culture, but others think that there is nothing wrong with attracting tourists that way. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some people believe that using

traditions

Use synonyms

as attractions for tourists will destroy our

culture

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

some believe that there is nothing wrong with it. There are many reasons for both sides , and in

this

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essay, I will be explaining them. On one hand, people believe that using

traditions

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as entertainment for money-making is wrong. They believe that conventions should be used to honour their ancestors and their beliefs.

For example

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, Thai locals may have a traditional way to worship their Gods in the temple,

they

Correct word choice

and they

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are fixed on what to do when entering the temple.

However

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, when

toursits

Correct your spelling

tourists

visit temples, they might accidentally disrespect the Gods and the

thai

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Thai

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culture

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by doing things or wearing exposed clothing,

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

which

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can cause distrust and

cause

Verb problem

apply

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dissatisfaction

Change preposition

among

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the locals.

On the other hand

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, some individuals believe there is nothing wrong with attracting travellers with

traditions

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. These citizens may believe that it is an honour to share their

culture

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, and they may want guests to know the history of their homeland.

For instance

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, when a foreigner visits

thailand

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Thailand

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, locals are usually very welcoming and helpful

Punctuation problem

;

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they want foreigners to feel like Thailand is a safe country. Residents enjoy giving walkthroughs of famous landmarks and showing the Thai heritage to sightseers

while

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also

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gaining a profit from their time and

help

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helping

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. I agree with

this

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perspective on using

traditions

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, since I am proud of my

culture

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, and I would like for all visitors to get the chance to view my country's

traditions

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too. In conclusion, the citizens may feel disrupted when their practices are used as entertainment for

visitiors

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visitors

, especially beautiful landmarks,

while

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some may feel interested in sharing their

culture

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with new people

but

Punctuation problem

, but

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none of the perspectives

are

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show examples

wrong. Everyone should have the choice to learn new customs

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

while

Linking Words

also

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respecting the

culture

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of that nation.

zheningzhenming

Jun 3, 2026

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task response

Make your opinion more clear in the introduction. Say your side in a direct way.

task response

Explain both sides more fully. Add one more reason for each side.

task response

Use examples with more detail so the ideas feel stronger and more real.

coherence and cohesion

Link some ideas more smoothly. A few sentences feel too long or joined in a weak way.

coherence and cohesion

Keep the same key words clear. For example, use one main word like traditions or culture, not too many similar words.

coherence and cohesion

Make the conclusion shorter and more direct. Restate both views and your opinion clearly.

task response

You answered both views and gave your own opinion.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

task response

The temple example and the Thailand example are relevant to the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Each paragraph has one main idea, so the essay is easy to follow.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

tradition
culture
tourist attraction
local community
historic place
old custom
true meaning
cultural identity
make money
keep alive
protect
respect
young generation
festival
local art
traditional music
support
damage
commercial use
balance

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