Some people think that using traditions as attractions for money-making will destroy our culture, but others think that there is nothing wrong with attracting tourists that way. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some people believe that using traditions as attractions for tourists will destroy our
culture
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.
While
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some believe that there is nothing wrong with it. There are many reasons for both sides , and in
this
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essay, I will be explaining them. On one hand, people believe that using traditions as entertainment for money-making is wrong. They believe that conventions should be used to honour their ancestors and their beliefs.
For example
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, Thai locals may have a traditional way to worship their Gods in the temple, and they are fixed on what to do when entering the temple.
However
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, when tourists visit temples, they might accidentally disrespect the Gods and the Thai
culture
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by doing things or wearing exposed clothing, which can cause distrust and dissatisfaction among the locals.
On the other hand
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, some individuals believe there is nothing wrong with attracting travellers with
culture
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. These citizens may believe that it is an honour to share their
culture
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, and they may want guests to know the history of their homeland.
For instance
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, when a foreigner visits Thailand, locals are usually very welcoming and helpful; they want foreigners to feel like Thailand is a safe country. Residents enjoy giving walkthroughs of famous landmarks and showing the Thai heritage to sightseers
while
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also
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gaining a profit from their time and helping. I agree with
this
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perspective on using custom, since I am proud of my art , and I would like for all visitors to get the chance to view my country's traditions too. In conclusion, the citizens may feel disrupted when their practices are used as entertainment for visitors, especially beautiful landmarks,
while
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some may feel interested in sharing their
culture
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with new people , but none of the perspectives is wrong. Everyone should have the choice to learn new customs
,
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apply
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while
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also
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respecting the
culture
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of that nation.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Your view is clear, but the first side needs a bit more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea very clear at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more careful way. Some ideas join well, but some sentences feel a little loose.
task response
Give one more clear example or result for each side to make your points stronger.
task response
You discussed both views and gave your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
The temple example is specific and helps your point.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas move in a clear order from one paragraph to the next.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • tradition
  • culture
  • tourist attraction
  • local community
  • historic place
  • old custom
  • true meaning
  • cultural identity
  • make money
  • keep alive
  • protect
  • respect
  • young generation
  • festival
  • local art
  • traditional music
  • support
  • damage
  • commercial use
  • balance
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